How Black Men Get Their Groove Back: Honest Love

by Gregory L. Towns

Romancing a Black woman begins with honesty. There should never be an ulterior motive; it should be from and about the heart. Black women have enough problems with home, family and career without dealing with deceit from someone she loves. In my many years I've found that the more direct you are with a woman, the more she is able to understand everything.

Historically, Black women weather the worst of times, they shoulder the burdens when Black men give up on the system and life, they've taken work on the lowest step of the ladder and held their heads high. I don't think it's too much to ask of my fellow males to show our support and love in every way possible. Don't keep you're honest feelings to yourselves, when asked about situations be truthful, when issues arise discuss them openly.

We as males are tempted on a daily basis to stray, the idea that one woman is not enough, this fallacy is a destructive factor to Black relationships. Men spend countless hours involved in outside activities and other women, and justify this with "I'm a man, it's my nature". To this I have two words "Lorraina Bobbett". Our excuse that women take our manhood for granted by being something so simple as independent, that women reduce us to second class citizens when actually we do it to ourselves.

These are the same women we should hold in high regard through the worst situations and we repay them with inattention, deceit and disrespect. Only after we've lost them do we realize that the focal point of our lives ,was the woman we loved. Then we find ourselves in deep depression and build an impenetrable wall that the next woman who gives us a receptive glance is treated the same despicable way.

Wake up Black men, open your eyes to the real problem - the man in the mirror. Women have given so much and we've taken. Time to make a deposit of something else other than sperm. Stand up and let Black women know how precious they are to you, truthfully and honestly. There is no shame in telling and showing a woman what an important place she holds in your heart and in your life.

If I had a nickel for every time a Black woman said "Everything in our relationship would be great IF he was honest about everything" I'd be living next door to Bill Gates. Drop the BULL men and give truth a try. Little lies become big problems and" SORRY" isn't enough. > Black women that I've come to know fill shoe boxes with "I'M SORRY" and use the boxes to build a wall around their hearts. I personally am tired of walking over other brothers’ trash, lies and deceit. When I meet a woman I've got to spend a month trying to repair the damage that some thoughtless guy has done.

Approach a woman with truth and honesty and I'll guarantee the road to a happy, fruitful relationship will be smooth. Wasn't it Johnny Cochran who said "If it doesn't fit you must acquit", dishonesty doesn't fit. It clouds the air around the two of you. Give a Black woman honesty and she'll give you the love of a life time.

In the first two parts of this series I've exposed some of the problems Black men have, some amusing, most tragic. My attempt to open the eyes of some of you, who don't comprehend, before it's too late. Save yourself some agony and pain be open and honest. You'll find a Black woman's love is the strongest fabric of which a relationship is made. She can handle anything you can throw her way, except lying, cheating deception and the juvenile attempt to pull the wool over her eyes.

Remember that all a woman is looking for is communication, attention, understanding ,honesty, loyalty, fidelity, creativity, and commitment. Our Black women deserve all of this. Put down the remote and spend less time with ESPN and more with her ,find out where real, true love can be found.

How Black Men Get Their Groove Back: Honest Love by Gregory L. Towns

© Copyright 1998. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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