I talk with a lot of women day to day for so many different reasons that I can not explain or go into detail with you at this time. But what I can say is this there are a lot of women that have been raped, molested, domestic violence, drugs, mental illness, alcohol, prostitute and the list goes on and on. These women are carrying around so much hurt and so much pain inside of them and they wear it very well to the point they do not know that they are hiding behind a mask.

I remember when God first started working on me about some of my personal issues or some would say your own personal demons. There were so many things going on with me that I had to get over. I had to do a lot of forgiving from family members to friends and even those that I knew that hurt or caused me harm in the past. Then on top of that I had to forgive myself and ask God to forgive me for carrying around unforgivness on the inside of me. I had to seek the face of God to find my worth, my mind, my joy and my happiness.

It took me a very long time to really find out I had meaning and that I had a purpose in life. I had mental illness, I thought I was going crazy did not know what was going on in my mind. See I lost touch with the real world; because the enemy had come in and took what belonged to me within me. I have been beat, pushed, stomped on, cast to the side and talked about all my life. Called fat, was told that I would never make it; because I was in a domestic violence relationship. Mother of six children and I was a car crash waiting to happen.

There weere times that I had run out of food in the house for my children. I did not go out and sell my body for food during this period in my life. But instead, what I thought that was worth money in my home, I would pawn it for extra money to buy food for my kids to eat. Yes then I turned out to be a woman that just did not care. I had a man every night; some of these men had wives and girlfriends. Do you think I cared no; remember I lost my self-worth and I had very low self-esteem, I did not love myself; because I was hurting inside and out. I hated myself because of the things that took place in my life as a child/teen/and into my woman hood.

Homeless, me and my children sleeping in my car, no place to go, living in a shelter. Mind you, I still had a job and transportation, but on the flip side of that I had no one I could really turn to. I was in the church and many times I would say God why is this taking place. Tried to do what I could to keep it all together making sure that I did not lose my mind in the midst of all that I was going through, making sure that my children did not see me cry.

My oldest son went missing for two years, so that added to the ongoing pain inside of me, not knowing where he was at, was he safe or was he dead. All these thoughts ran through my mind. Then to finding him two years to the date that he went missing that was a release inside, but still dealing with issues of my past. As a mother I had to see my son go cold turkey because he was trying to get clean off drugs. Then to him being a witness to a murder and they had to place him in protective custody because a hit was put out on him.

You would say to yourself that is a lot to take in. Honey this is just a overview of my many stories that I have. It would take me years to really sit down with you to explain it in detail. As I sit here today and think back, My God, he brought both me and my Children a mighty long way. I say all this as a woman, we put on so many hats to the point that we forget about what is deep within us that is crying out.

This is what I call "The Women Within Me." See there is a woman in each of us that is crying out for someone to come along and save her, to release her from what she has been dealing with for so many years. All bottled up inside in the deepest parts and the inward parts of our soul, that only God can see. She has been a child that was molested by a family member, a friend, or even raped by someone in the streets or by their boyfriends or even husbands. (Yes I said husband, because anytime a man has to force a woman to have sex with him, it is called rape.)

She is this woman that has been in a domestic violence relationship for 3 years, 15 years or she may have been out but have not taken back her life. She is that women that has been a drug user in the past, but she's fighting to stay clean. She is that woman that was a alcoholic drinking a 5th of E&J every day to help her go to sleep. Has just been told by the doctors that if she does not stop drinking that she will die. She is that woman who was a prostitute in the past, but have flashbacks every now and then when a man wants to date her. Because while she was out there in the streets she lost her well-being and worth as a woman. And she is trying find out who she is and how to take back her self-worth. She is that woman that suffers from stress, depression, or may be emotionally unstable because of something so horrible that took place in her life has left her unstable mentally.

So now that you get the picture of where I am coming from you see that we all have something similar in common with each other. We all been through something in our life. I want to tell the women today no matter what you have gone through in your past leading up to moment that you accepted Jesus Christ in your heart, you can over come all things. I was a past victim, but I can say today that I am now victorious.