When It Is All Said And Done...

by Sharel E. Gordon-Love


"Please come to my office when you finish dressing, Mrs. Simms," Dr. Robinson said to me after giving me a full examination.

I'd been experiencing bad pain in my abdomen and irregular periods for the last four months. I figured it was time to have myself checked out since I endured these same symptoms off and on for the last year. This time the pain was unbearable and the fact that I couldn't conceive was driving me crazy. I put my clothes back on and went to Dr. Robinson's office for our consultation.

"Come on in, Mrs. Simms. Have a seat right there. Now tell me something. Why didn't you come in when you first started experiencing these symptoms?"

"Because it was only for a few days the first couple of times. Then each time I went through it, it got worse. This time I just couldn't deal with the pain and decided to get it checked. I have not been able to conceive, my husband and I are planning to have our third child and I wanted to be sure there is nothing wrong."

"I would like for you to go to the lab on the third floor and have some blood drawn. I'm not going to prescribe anything for you until I know what is causing your discomfort and irregular periods."

"Do you have any idea what it can be?" I asked.

"It could be a number of things, but let's just get the tests done and make an appointment to see me in two days for another consultation and possible treatment," said Dr. Robinson.

Hmmmm. Now why wouldn't the doctor say what she thought it was? Oh well, I guess I'll just wait and see. I went to the reception desk for the form, had the blood drawn and headed home for my two-day wait. They were the longest 48 hours I've ever had to wait through, but two days later I was again in Dr. Robinson's office. This time I didn't need an exam. She asked that I come straight to her office.

"Your blood tests are in and we know what's wrong and how to treat it, Mrs. Simms," said Dr. Robinson.

"That's great! So what is it?"

"You have a sexually transmitted disease called Chlamydia. If left untreated, it can cause sterility and a host of other complications such as scar tissue, pain and..."

"What?! A sexually transmitted disease? No way! I'm faithful to my husband, Dr. Robinson. I really am. Unless? No way! My husband wouldn't cheat on me!"

Dr. Robinson came from around her desk and placed both hands on my shoulders to comfort me. At first she didn't say anything as the tears coursed down both cheeks. Would Randy really cheat on me? We have two beautiful daughters together. How can this be? He comes home every night and I always know where he is. I just don't understand this?

"Mrs. Simms, are you ok?" asked Dr. Robinson as she handed me a tissue.

"Yes..? no..? I don't know! Dr. Robinson, Randy wouldn't do this to me. He wouldn't."

"There is a possibility that you or Randy contracted the disease before you met and it went unnoticed all this time. It doesn't mean that he went out and cheated on you. That does happen when you change sex partners?"

"Dr. Robinson, I was a virgin when I married my husband. He wasn't, but our daughters are ages 10 and 7. Can it be there that long?"

"Well, it would show up long before now in you. Has your husband been complaining about any discomfort?"

"No? He hasn't..."

"I suggest that you do not have intercourse until you have completed the treatment. Have your husband see his doctor so he can be treated as well. Otherwise you will end up re-infecting each other."

"There's no need to worry about that at all..." "If you would, go with me to an examining room. I want to administer the medication by injection and then give you a prescription for the rest. The sooner it gets into your system, the sooner it can get to work healing your body."

I followed the doctor and allowed her to give me the shot. I didn't wince once. I was too numb. All the thoughts I fought to push to the back of my mind over the course of the last year came flooding back all at once. The business meetings that ran late, the excuses for not making love. The distance and the unexplained attitudes Randy has had was before my face like a bad dream that wouldn't leave.

I drove home with a hard sob stuck in my throat, wishing with all that was within me that it would go away. How can I face the girls knowing that I couldn't hide my feelings. They would know something was wrong as soon as I walked in the door of my mother's house to pick them up.

"Hi, Mom! Mom, what's wrong?" asked Stacye, my 10 year old.

"Nothing, Baby? Mommy's just a little tired. Where's Taryn?"

"Out back, I'll get her." Stacye runs out back to retrieve her sister.

"I'm not going to ask you what's bothering you, Sharon. I know when you're ready, you'll talk," said my mother.

"Thanks, Mom. I don't know if I can get through this alone," the sob I tried so hard to keep at bay welled up and out of my mouth. My mother pulled me into her soft embrace and held me until it passed. It's something how Mom's embrace still worked wonders on my wounded heart.

Stacye and Taryn came running in, so I had to compose myself and put on my "mother face."

"How much sweet potato pie did you girls eat?" I asked, trying to smile.

"Stacye had two slices, Mom. I only had one and a glass of milk," said Taryn.

"I guess there is no need for me to cook dinner tonight. Thanks for keeping the girls for me, Mom. I'll call you later, ok?"

"All right now, Sharon. Come here, Babies, and give Grandma a hug and a kiss. I love you now! Be good for mommy and daddy."

The girls and I leave and they have their usual "who is going to ride in the front seat" argument. To end it, I made them both get in the back. That also put an end to any conversation the entire 30 minute ride home. For once I was glad because I know that if I spoke, they would be able to hear the hurt in my voice.

Once at home, the girls went to their rooms and I went to mine. I decided to take a bath in my Pearberry scented bath gel and try to sort out what has turned out to be the worst day of my life. I can?t believe that Randy would cheat on me after 10 years of marriage. Ten whole years of commitment and love and the anticipation of another child. A boy this time so Randy can have a namesake and someone to carry his family name. All three of his brothers have at least one boy, and Randy was determined that he was going to have one too. He would jokingly say, "even if we have ten girls to do it, we were going to have a boy". It looks like that dream is all washed up.

I must have fallen asleep in the tub because I never heard Randy come into the bathroom. I felt his lips on my cheek and I recoiled from his touch.

"What's wrong, Sharon? You ok?"

"Yeah. Could you let me bathe alone please?"

"You don't want me to join you?"

"No, not this time."

Randy just looked at me weird and left the bathroom without saying another word. As soon as the door clicked closed, I let a torrent of tears fall from my eyes and drip into my bath water. Will he even tell me he's been cheating on me? Should I tell him I know? What am I going to do? Just the thought of not knowing sent me into another fit of tears that wracked my whole body in response to the hurt.

After coming to the conclusion that crying was not going to change a thing, I let the bath water out and started drying myself off. I stood in front of the full-length mirror behind the bathroom door and studied my size 8 figure. There was not one blemish anywhere, and after having two children, I had no stretch marks and a pretty flat stomach. What is wrong with me? Why would Randy find love with someone else? It's probably just for sex, or...or... maybe I don't stimulate him mentally any more. I don't work and I still didn't go back to school to finish my Associates Degree, so that might be a problem. listen to me! I am putting myself down to find an excuse for my husband's infidelity! I'm going to stop right now. There is nothing wrong with me. If only I can convince myself that this is true.

I put my bathrobe on and pushed away all the crazy thoughts of trying to find a good reason for Randy's cheating. In the bedroom I lotion my body with Pearberry scented lotion before putting on a pair of flannel pajamas. When I do this, it's a sign to Randy that I don't want to be bothered or my period is here. Since I had my period last week, he'll know that I don't want to be bothered.

It was only 7:30, but I pulled the cover back and got into bed with the book I started reading the night before. As soon as I opened the cover of the book, Taryn started knocking on my door.

"Mommy! Can I come in?"

"Come on in, Taryn?.. what's the matter?" I asked.

"My stomach hurts? can I get in bed with you? Please?.?"

I pulled the cover back and let her get in while I changed positions to allow her to lay up under me. I knew she wouldn't move over, so I wrapped one arm around her head to comfort her.

"Are you sure you just ate one slice of pie at Grandma's house?"

"Yes, but my friend Lee Lee gave me some candy after school," said Taryn.

"Haven't I told you no sweets? That's why your stomach hurts. I'm going to give you something for it, and as soon as you're feeling better, back to your room you go."

"Aw, Mom! Can I just stay in here with you and Daddy?" Taryn asked.

"No way, young lady. Open your mouth and chew this good. You should start feeling better soon and you're out of here," I smiled. "I wouldn't mind, but your Daddy needs his space."

"Daddy would let me stay. Can I ask him?"

"No, go get a drink of water from the bathroom."

Taryn went to the bathroom to get a cup of water and returned to my bed and lay down as close to me as she could get. Before I knew anything, we were both asleep. At 10, Randy was shaking me awake.

"Sharon?.. Sharon?.. Sharon?"

"What?"

"I'm going to put Taryn in her bed. Is she feeling all right?" Randy asked.

"Just a stomach ache," I replied, turning my back to him while he picked Taryn up. I immediately closed my eyes to pretend I'd fallen back to sleep so I wouldn't have to say anything to Randy when he came back to the room. Randy didn't come back right away, so I did eventually go back to sleep and slept through the night.

Waking up the next morning, I noticed that Randy didn't come to bed. No wonder I didn't wake up? getting up and putting on my bathrobe, I head downstairs to the den. Sure enough Randy was laying on the sofa with a blanket and the TV blasting. I turned it off and started out of the room when Randy sat up.

"Sharon??."

"Yes?"

"We need to talk, don't we?" Randy asked.

"Talk for what? I don't have anything to say."

"Sharon, come sit down with me..."

"No, I have to get the girls up for school, and then I..." I couldn't continue because the tears started down my face. I just bolted from the den and ran upstairs to the bedroom. I didn't want to be in the same room with that man.

For the next two weeks, Randy and I didn't converse much at all. In front of the girls we pretended to be the same mommy and daddy they knew, but Randy slept in the den each night, and I slept in our bedroom alone.

Spring in all of its splendor was shining through my windows as I stood there trying to evaluate my marriage and come to some conclusion as to what I would do when I saw Stacye running up the street. She and Taryn always walk together, but Taryn was no where in sight. I opened the front door to meet Stacye who was crying hysterically.

"Mommy, Taryn got hit by a car! Right down the street? Oh Mommy!" Stacye cried, falling into my arms.

"Oh, no! Not my baby, not my baby! Come on Stacye, show me where she is!"

Stacye and I ran down to the corner where a crowd of people and police officers were. I pushed through the crowd to get to Taryn, but several people were trying to hold me back.

"Taryn! Taryn! Move, let me go! That's my baby... move!"

I was finally able to break through the crowd, but just before I touched Taryn, an officer grabbed my arm.

"Miss, don't try to move her. She's unconscious and we don't know what her injuries are."

"She's my baby, officer... I have to touch her," I said as I kneeled down to try and see if Taryn was still breathing. I touched her hands, her face? noticed the big lump on her forehead and rubbed it crying hysterically. I could hear the sirens of the ambulance approaching, but I wasn't moving until the attendants came to help my baby.

The ambulance attendants moved swiftly in their examination of Taryn before placing her on the stretcher. Stacye and I rode in the ambulance while I answered as many questions as I could. Taryn started to regain consciousness as we approached the emergency room entrance.

"Mom...my..."

"Taryn, hush now, baby, hush. The doctors are going to examine you. Please, baby, try not to move. Mommy's right here," I said, holding Taryn's hand and praying that God will make her all right. I haven't prayed in a long time, and I felt really funny doing it now. When was the last time I'd even acknowledged God? All I know is, I needed Him right now. I wasn't allowed to be in the examination room with Taryn at first, and it was hard to be still as I waited for the doctors to finish. Stacye just sat and watched me pace back and forth without saying a word. Every now and then I would see a tear roll down her cheeks. Looking up at me Stacye finally said, "Mom, it's all my fault? I wasn't watching Taryn like I was supposed to."

"No, it wasn't your fault, Stacye. There is a crossing guard on that corner who is responsible for making sure you all cross safely."

"If I wasn't walking with Debbie and them, I would have seen her and protected her."

"Stacye, honey, it's ok? Taryn is going to be fine, you'll see."

I took my oldest daughter into my arms to comfort her and let her cry until she had no more tears. Suddenly a peace that I haven't felt in a long time came over me and I knew Taryn would be all right. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, giving thanks to God for what He'd already done.

Feeling a hand on my shoulder, I opened my eyes to find myself looking into the eyes of Randy Simms. The only man I've ever loved with all my heart and the only man I still loved. There was love in his eyes, I know I could see it, and tears. I moved Stacye aside and stood up only to fall into Randy's arms.

"Sharon, why didn't you call me to tell me about Taryn? How is my baby?" asked Randy.

"I wasn't thinking. I was just worried about Taryn and I just didn't think. We're still waiting for the doctor to come out? I'm sorry."

Randy held me in his arms and ran his fingers through my hair, pulling it slightly. I miss the feel and comfort of his arms and I miss our marriage. Did Taryn have to get hurt to bring us to this point?

"How did you find out about the accident?" I asked.

"Mrs. Jackson was in her garden when I came home. She told me Taryn had been hit by a car."

We sat down and Stacye somehow snuggled between us as we waited another hour before the head doctor treating Taryn came out.

"Mr. and Mrs. Simms, I'm Dr. Fitzgerald," the doctor said shaking both of our hands.

"What's wrong, Dr.?" asked Randy standing to his feet. "Can we see our little girl?"

"Yes, you can in just a few minutes. I want to let you know what injuries she's sustained and how long she will have to be in the hospital. Taryn has a mild concussion, a broken collarbone and we're a little worried about her spine. We're going to be running some tests over the next few days to see how much damage has been done and what course of treatment will be needed. She also broke her ankle in the accident, so her leg is in a cast right now."

"Is her spine the most serious of her injuries?" I asked.

"Yes, it is, you see, depending on the amount of damage done to her spine, it can have an effect on her ability to walk. So far she says she can feel her legs and she can move them both, but we would like to run some tests to assess the damage and treat it accordingly," Dr. Fitzgerald explained.

My legs turned to rubber and I would have fallen to the floor if Randy had not caught me. First my marriage and now my baby may have a problem walking. Lord, what next? Gathering my strength while holding tightly to Randy's arm, we followed the doctor to Taryn's room. My baby looked so helpless with her cast and I.V. running through her arm.

"Hi, Baby' how are you feeling?" I asked Taryn.

"I feel better, Mommy? Can I come home with you?"

"No, Taryn. You have to stay here so the doctors can make you all better. Then Daddy and I will bring you home."

Taryn started to whimper and whine because she didn't want to be left alone here.

"Hey, Precious, hey... Daddy and Mommy will stay with you until you fall asleep, ok?" Randy said.

"Daddy, I want to go home with you! I don't want to stay here!" Taryn cried. "I don't want any more needles, I want to go home!"

Randy sat on the bed and comforted Taryn as best he could while I continued to talk to the doctor. They had already given Taryn a mild sedative to help her sleep and for the pain, so she would be asleep before they took her to her room. We all stayed with her until she fell asleep, and made our escape. I informed the nurses that I would be returning first thing in the morning to spend the day with Taryn. I will be doing this until she is able to come home.

The next five days seemed to be real work for me. Up early preparing breakfast for Stacye and Randy, running to the hospital to be there before Taryn woke up, and then coming home when she finally falls to sleep at night. Randy would come on his lunch hour and the last thing at night, but I was the one who endured the tests, x-rays and medication. I was the one who had to encourage Taryn when the doctors decided she needed therapy and a brace for her back.

Randy and I still didn't find time to discuss our marital problems, but I knew once Taryn was released and pretty settled with her therapy visits we would have to discuss what we are going to do. I just want him to tell me he had an affair so we can move from that point. The night we were to discuss our marriage came the third day that Taryn was home. My mother had just left and I was in bed reading the book I never had a chance to finish when Randy came in from another one of his late business meetings. Needless to say I wasn't in any mood to talk about anything.

"Hey..."

"Hey yourself. Can you move out of my light please? I can't see to read my book."

"Shar, we need to talk, Baby..? tonight. I can't go through another day with our problems looming over my head," said Randy.

"I really don't feel like it, Randy. I'm tired? can't we do this on a day you're not working?"

"Let me put it this way, Sharon? I'm tired of sleeping on the couch. If I have to spend another night down in the den, I'm going to take that to mean that we're not going to stay married."

I look at Randy for the first time since he walked into the bedroom. I see that he's serious, so I put my book down and sit up. Sitting next to me and taking my hand in his, he looked me square in the eye while clenching his teeth. I'm so afraid of what he is going to say that my reaction is to look down at my hands. Randy lifts my head with his hand so that I can look into his eyes when he speaks.

"Baby, I don't even know where to begin.. but let me say that I love you with all of my heart. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you by something foolish I've done?"

Before he could finish, tears were falling down my face. Wiping them, Randy continued talking, but I didn't hear a word.

"Sharon I... I did something I never thought I would do to you and I'm sorry. Please forgive me, Baby."

"Forgive you for what? You haven't even told me what you did!" I heard that part and I wasn't going to let him get away with not stating just what he did. "To ask me to forgive you for what you put me through for the last year without you saying what you want me to forgive you for is NOT going to work!" I said, snatching my hand out of his.

"Sharon, don't start with the screaming? I want to talk quietly and rationally about this."

"Oh you do, do you? Well let me lay it on the line for you, ok? For the last year I've been suffering from a stupid STD because you decided you wanted to dip your wick in somebody else's candle instead of mine! I had to be treated for something I never should have gotten. If I were you, I'd go to the doctor and tell your stank girlfriend to do the same before both of you end up sterile. I hope you both just die!" I immediately headed for the bathroom and the peace of my private sanctuary.

"Sharon, wait! It's not what you..." SLAM!!!! Before Randy could finish his sentence, the bathroom door was slammed shut and locked. I fell to the floor totally hysterical wishing that I'd never met Randy Simms.

Randy banged on the door, but I wouldn't answer him, I just screamed and hollered until he left me alone. I heard Stacye come to the door and ask her father what was going on, but he walked her back to her bedroom and was gone for a while. I came out of the bathroom and started putting on some clothes to take a drive. Maybe now I'll talk to my mother? no it's too late to go and wake her just to tell her what a nasty person Randy turned out to be. I could call my best friend Karen, but she's been having man problems of her own, or maybe I should say problems with men that are not her own. Anyway, I had to get out of that house before I burst.

I reached the front door when I realized that my keys were not in my purse. Going to the kitchen to see if I'd put them on the key ring and finding them missing from there just made me madder. I turned around and there stood Randy twirling my keys around his finger.

"We are going to have to talk, Sharon. If you want to end our marriage, then be woman enough to tell me."

"You have got some nerve telling me to be woman enough when you weren't man enough to keep your manhood in your pants! Some husband you are, bringing your garbage home to your wife!"

"Can you at least let me tell you what happened? Please? Please Sharon? it's not what you think," Randy pleaded.

"I don't want to hear none of your sorry excuses, lies or sordid stories about how you screwed some stank wench! Spare me the drama, all right?"

"Sharon, daggone it, please hear me out!"

"I've heard enough, I've felt enough physical pain, and my broken heart will not bear the shame. Tell your story to that heifer you're screwing around with."

"...SIGH. I can't believe this is the same woman who told me standing at the altar before God, our family and friends and said she would be with me through sickness and health, richer or poorer..."

"It said nothing about standing by your side through your whorish acts, did it? Did it? You have some nerve bringing God into this when you didn't think about Him while you were doing your thing!"

"Sharon, if you will let me tell you what has been going on, we won't be going through all of this? will you let me explain? There is more to this than meets the eye, if you'll just..."

"NO!!! I don't want to hear another word come out of your mouth. You can pack your bags, I'm getting a divorce and hopefully find me a man who won't cheat on me!"

Before I could barely finish my sentence, I felt a sting across my face so hard and forceful that I fell to the floor. The pain behind my eyes was white as I sat there trying to recover. In all the years I've known this man I call my husband, he has never raised his hand to hurt me in any way.

"That's it!" I cried, struggling to get up. "I don't want to be married to you any more! Leave now, Randy. Get out before I have you locked up!"

"Sharon, Baby, I'm sorry! Please listen to what I have to say. If you would listen to me, you would not be angry," Randy was saying as he helped me to a chair.

"There is nothing to listen to, Randy. I want you out before you hurt me."

With tears in his eyes, Randy got down on his knees in front of me, placing his hands on both of my thighs firmly so I couldn't move.

"This night you are going to have to hear everything I have to say. It hasn't been an easy year for me either, feeling that I had to keep this secret from you' But tonight you're going to hear every word of what I have to say. If you want a divorce when I'm done, I won't fight you on it."

We're both crying now, but I nod my head so Randy will know that I will listen. Then I'm going to kill him for tearing our family apart!

"Shar, it's been a little over a year now, but I still remember it like it happened yesterday. My ex-boss, Ms. DaShaun E. Jackson, was fired from the company."

"What does that have to do with you? I remember you saying she was fired for going against policy with an employee, but you never went into detail. I thought it didn't matter to you one way or another?"

"Don't you remember I wouldn't make love to you just before Ms. Jackson was fired?"

"I guess so... what's your point?" I asked.

"Let me start by saying that I wasn't unfaithful to you and I wasn't lying about late business meetings. At first they were with my boss and her direct reports. I'm included in that group of people. A few of the guys were her stooges and did whatever she told them. I, on the other hand, wanted to do the job I was hired for. One day I told her that the late business meetings were interfering with my family life. I figured the stuff we discussed after hours could be done during working hours. It was obvious she didn't think so because my request went unheard. On Friday, April 16th, we had another late night business meeting?"

"Randy, please don't lie to me," I said looking into his teary eyes. "Please... this sounds like a way out story of some kind?"

Instead of answering me, Randy just started sobbing like a baby! I couldn't believe what I was seeing. He's never cried like this, not even when his father died. I took his face into my hands and kissed his lips ever so lightly, and hugged his head to my bosom while he cried harder than I've ever seen a man cry.

Composing himself, Randy got up and pulled a chair up in front of mine, taking my hands in his and launched into what happened to him on that day.

"Babe, please don't say anything until I tell you I'm finished. This is not going to be easy. The sooner I get it all out, the better, ok?"

"What can I say? I'll be quiet?"

"Ms. Jackson decided to shut me up because in actuality, instead of taking care of company business on company time, she was using the time to run some side business of hers. That took away from the work she is required to produce and she had to make it up somewhere, thus the after hour business meetings. This particular night it was me and her stooges at the meeting table and they were fooling around instead of starting the meeting. After about a half hour of this, I started putting my things into my brief case and announced that I would be going home. If there was anything she needed me for, I would be in the office the next morning.

"Well, that was not satisfactory and I was required to stay at the meeting at Ms. Jackson's insistence. I was angry and sat just another 30 minutes while she joked around with the other three guys. Again I got up to leave, but by now it was 6:30, and the building was practically deserted. Ms. Jackson told one of the guys to lock the door and instructed her goons to grab me and hold me in the chair. Three guys. The situation was totally hopeless. I fought, but it didn't do any good? to restrain me. They tied my legs to the chair and my hands behind my back."

"No! Baby please don't tell me any more, please!" I started crying and Randy's eyes filled with tears.

"Sharon, I have to so you'll know what will be going on in the next few days. Please don't make me stop."

"Randy, I can't listen to any more because I know now that I was wrong. You don't have to go on, I understand?"

"No, please listen. It's important to me that you listen, Sharon? I haven't told anyone about this outside of our Division President and our lawyer. Things are going to start hitting the fan and you don't need to hear this outside of me."

"Ok, ok... go on, but I don't think I'll be able to take it?"

"Ms. Jackson ordered her goons to rip my clothes off of me and to be careful not to hit me. They did just what they were ordered to do. In the meantime this woman started cursing me and saying things like I know I wanted her and that she wanted all of us in there to "do" her. I told her that I wanted to be loosed, but she just laughed and told me that she was going to do me right in the chair and I would tell no one. Absolutely no one or she would fire me on the spot. Shar, I fought with all I had, but I couldn't break free and the woman straddled my lap and forced herself on me! She forced herself on me,"

Randy broke down and cried some more. True to my word, I didn't say anything else, but I cried with my husband.

"After riding on me for about 15 minutes, she instructed the guys to untie me. By now I'm sure there was no one left at the office, and that meant that I couldn't prove a thing. I went to my office to get my gym clothes out of my gym bag. I washed myself in the men's room, but it could never remove the stench that was in my nostrils. That very night I went to the emergency room and had myself tested for AIDS, but it was too early to detect anything. I called the lawyer that night and we set about to start building a case against Ms. Jackson and the company.

"At first the case looked to be hopeless because I couldn't prove that the woman attacked me along with her goons, but I decided to take matters into my own hands. I bought a little portable tape player, and evey time I smelled her coming near my office, I clicked it on. She smelled like she wears a whole bottle of cheap perfume, so you always knew she was near. At least once or twice a week she would come into my office and say, 'When it is all said and done, Randy', smile and walk out of my office.

Finally one day while the tape player was on, I asked her to shut my door so we could talk. I asked her how she enjoyed the night of April 16th in our supposed business meeting, and she said she wanted to do it again. I continued the conversation by asking her what she meant by the statement she made whenever she would come into my office, and she said 'When it is all said and done, I did you, Randy Simms?' It was the evidence that I needed to bring charges against her. Now everything is in the lawyer's hands and we will be going to court in the next few weeks. There is also a possibility of it being publicized if Ms. Jackson decides to act a fool."

"Randy, Baby, I am so very sorry?"

"I'm the one who is sorry, Sharon. I should have told you about it when it happened, but I was so ashamed. Why would you even believe me?"

"But what about the late night business meetings you have now? You still tell me that you were at a meeting?"

"I meet with the lawyer after hours, and sometimes I feel so bad coming home knowing I was keeping this secret from you. I'm asking you to forgive me for not telling you, and for giving you that STD. I didn't know I was carrying it. I was most concerned about AIDS and I couldn't make love to you until I found out for sure I didn't have it. That's the reason I refused to make love to you for a while?"

"I thought having a baby would fix all of that? I guess I didn't know what I was trying to fix, huh? We still can't make love until you are treated, Randy."

"I'll make an appointment and get it taken care of, ok? Then we can have our son," Randy said smiling his crooked smile at me. That is what attracted me to him in the first place.

"Ok," I reached for my husband, the love of my life, and melted in his arms along with all the stress, false accusations and doubts about our marriage.

Over the course of the next six months would really be the test of our marriage. When court proceedings began, Ms. Jackson attempted to counter sue Randy and their company for slander and other crazy things. Thank God Randy thought to tape his conversations and brief encounters with Ms. Jackson. The tape is what convinced the jury to find her guilty of sexual harrassment and a few other sexual charges. She was sent to a women's prison until her sentencing. As she passed by Randy, she looked at him and smiled saying,

"Well, Randy Simms, when it's all said and done," and was pulled away by the officers leading her to jail. I stepped up and asked if I might say something to her.

"What could you possibly have to say to me, Mrs. Randy Simms?" Just the way she said my name made me want to punch her in her face! But I calmly replied,

"When it is all said and done, Ms. DaShaun E. Jackson, you did yourself."

Walking to meet my husband, I couldn't wait to hear his reaction when I told him we are having another baby.


When It Is All Said And Done... by Sharel E. Gordon-Love

© Copyright 1999. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.


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