symptomatic suppression of feeling
as though nothing is working the way it should
from broken relationships to doubting self
and it is all problematic

what I hold inside
tears at my soul
it continues to get harder to let the pain go
because it grows and grows
until it hurts so much that it’s unbearable

poetry was my release and now it’s my secret
because it has become so personal that
it has taken a life of its own
and tends to dig deeper that what’s comfortable
and so I find myself afraid
that’s what holds me back…limits me

the fear that sometimes seems psychosomatic
like the psychosomatic pain of a poem I once wrote
and how does one deal with that?
with knowing that what I’m feeling
may or may not be real

how does one express
what they themselves do not understand
w/o being surrounded by a cloud of apprehension

if someone could answer that one thing
then I would be forever grateful