I love the sight of dirty snow falling on my head
Not knowing whether or not acid rain makes acid snow
Or if the water I drink contains so many fluorocarbons
That my teeth and my gums and my intestinal tract will turn a pearly white
I love the smug of the big cities
I love waking up each and every morning
Coughing up what little lungs I remember having
"Not that you need them anyway"
And hoping that the fifth of gin and fifth of Hennessey and half gallon of rum
I so happily imbibed last night
Did not eat out the lil black thing that I call a liver
I love the taste of trichinosis and all the other parasites
That the side of pork contained
Because you know I am too lazy to cook it all the way through
Too tired to wonder why my chicken wing from the Chinese market
Is two times as big as any chicken I have ever seen
Or why the fruits have that rosy color
That fresh from the commercial shoot
Painted on and sprinkle with preservatives color 
That I love so much
I love to hear the strain of my heart as it tries to beat
As it tries to force blood through half clogged arteries
No. You gotta believe me red meat is good for me
All that stuff about cholesterol and fats and high blood pressure
It's just a lie by the cigarette makers 
To make it look like cigarettes aint the only thing that is bad for you
And a pack of Newport's a day, keeps the doctors away
Fresh air is so overrated, that's if you could find any to rate it
Bring on the nuclear bombs and nuclear plants and nuclear dirt
I love the nice green tint that everything will have
Won't have to worry about folks getting hit on darks roads no more
Won't have to worry about nightlights for the bathroom
I wanna be a night-light, I wanna have that shine, and yes I do
I wanna be happy
Very happy
Extremely happy
The happiness that comes from putting a heat glass thing-a-ma-jig
Filled with solid cocoa by products to my mouth
It was grown, so it has to be good for me
And guess what, it does wonders for weight loss
Have you ever seen a fat crack head, so there
And what's the big deal about covering my peter
He don't need a raincoat or a hat or some fake lamb skin sleeve
He loves to get wet, sex safe please, I wanna get wet
I'm invincible, because only jungle monkeys and fudge packers
Be catching stuff; be contracting stuff, not I
For those suits and coats and house wives and overall upstanding citizens
Struck down low by the H – to the – I – to the V
They shouldn't have been playing with dirt, you get dirty that way
I'm gonna live forever
I don't see why trees gotta grow to be older than me
I don't see why water needs to be clean
Or why I would want to save some useless fish
Who aint ever done anything for me
Get rid of all the grasslands
And we can have more ghetto trailer park sprawl
More places where the poor and downtrodden, can live 
With the other poor and downtrodden
And stay the hell away from me
Because I'm so fresh, so gosh darn clean
That nothing can touch me
Nothing can affect me\
Not even dirty snow
Yea not even dirty snow