Only Me

by Sam Jeffrey

Far from being delusioned, decrepit and bitter,
I have learnt lessons in a hard way.
From being a naive young impressionable girl to being a woman,
life has been one hell of a learning curve.
Learning not to trust everything and sometimes everyone,
hasn't been easy.
Mother always said be good to people.
I tried only to be taken for a ride by many.
I gave up lots just to please my peer group.
All I got back was ridicule, ungratefulness and more anger resulted.
All bitter and lost, I decided to give myself a break from people
but, only to be sucked into the full social swing again.
Time and time again I trusted myself.
Hoping to be lucky this time round 
but all I could see was a repetition of my former mistakes.
Beating my self in pity and wallowing in sorrow, did nothing for me.
Depression, anger, resentment, and negativity took hold of me.
Fed up with this sad, pitiful life, I decided to take a long hard look at myself.
Why was I always doing the same mistakes?
Why was I always depressed and angry all the time?
Why are others more contented and appear more happier than I do.
Ridding myself of the negativity, was a positive start.
respecting myself and relying on myself more,
meant that I was nearly there.
with passing time I accepted the deppression was and will always be
part of me.
I needed to learn how to deal with my dark moods. 
taking responsibility of my destiny and seeing the good in others,
was also a must.
Only when I achieved this inner peace,
I was able to face my demons and move on from my sad, sorry, angst ridden past.

Only Me by Sam Jeffrey

© Copyright 2001. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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