Dear Sisters

 

First and foremost

I love and respect you

I apologise in advance for the many times

The times I tried

The times I lied

You now witness my insecurities everyday

In everyway

From the women I choose to date

To the way I choose to hate

I don’t listen to you anymore

Now like I used to, not like before

A lot has happened over the years

You know I’ve shed so many tears

I’ve cried over stories untold

For this world is cruel and cold

Feels like my heart has been tempted with

I drink and smoke way too much spiff

A way of hiding my pain

It’s harder just trying to maintain

I don’t need for you to feel what I feel

I’m trying to protect you and that’s me being real

I don’t want you to tolerate my own nonsense

A time will come when it will all make sense

 

My soul’s trying to deal with real life

You are my strength

The reason I overcome the strife

I still want you to be my wife

Right now I’m just not ready

Ready for the way you were designed to love me

My sisters please forgive me

In time you will see

I needed to face this internal battle

I needed to take the long walk and finally see what’s vital

Perhaps a moment when I need to read my bible

Talk to God and find out what I need to do

The truth is I truly love you

 

Some of my brothers are not strong enough to face you

They often try to replace you

Perhaps inside they know the truth

I don’t know

We’re all walking different paths in life

All I know is I still want you to be my wife

Still need you to hold my hand

Help me find a reason

To live through yet another season

I don’t mean to judge you

I’m trying my best to love you

It’s harder when I don’t completely love myself

When all the sisters I seem to meet care only about my wealth

And they don’t care about my emotional health

How can you expect me to open up my soul?

How can you expect me to talk to you without my ego?

That’s all I have to protect me

My sisters can’t you see?

I’m hiding behind my own insecurity.