Stone Journals

Betrayal, Infidelity, Assumptions and indescribable suffering of the senses ensnare my heart and mind. The renewed dedication to our once fleeting relationship means NOTHING to him. The ghost from "cheaters past" has stealthily impersonated my significant other's silhouette. The familiarity of these feelings invades my once sane mind and painfully penetrates my heart.

I gather the evidence and boldly proceed enraged to confront my lover. WHO IS THE TRICK with the seducing tail that has you sniffing down the "only leads to destruction" trail?? As he begins to respond, my heart is resonating deafly throughout my body that I can not hear a word he is uttering in defense. You're lying!!! I shrill loudly while each second my anger grows bolder, I'm contemplating sweet revenge with a "blast from my past black book shoulder."

That's right...FOUR CAN PLAY THAT GAME BABY. You see, I can make it you, me, her and him. Please help me understand, I ask you once more before I follow vengeance reluctantly out the front door. As you place my hands in your hands, my spirit responds by settling and calming down, I THINK I heard you say I love you as each word out of your mouth successfully dismantles my allegations.

I feel like an idiot as I lower my head in shame. My thoughts swiftly shift from the possibility of being "played" to the reality of being enslaved by my own uncertain emotions. I begin to repair the mental damage. Oh how I wish I could blink back in time. I've wasted hours of our life submitting to false illusions and strife. I apologize for doubting your loyalty, I apologize for being insecure, I apologize for challenging our commitment that we cherish and revere so dear. I realize that my man chooses ME everyday and together forever we will be. I'm confident, at least till the next episode of He Loves Me Not... He Loves Me.