I Should of Thought Twice

by Kimberly McKenzie

"Baby I love you. You're the only person for me," as he slid in and stole my virginity away. That was nearly two weeks ago and Brianna cried every day since then. She had not heard a word from Bobby Taylor since their night of so called passion. Sure the kisses felt good but that's where it should have ended. One thing led to another and Brianna found herself half-naked as they played in sin. He said everything right and actually made her feel like she wasn't fulfilling her duties because she didn't want to go all the way.

That son-of-a-bitch said 'Baby, now you know I can have anybody I want but its you that I want to be with.' Why couldn't she see him for the conceited bastard he was? He knew all the right words…he knew how to play the game just as well as the big time basketball star he was. Maybe that was her reasoning for caving into his demands in the first place. Brianna longed to fit in with the popular crowd and when Bobby Taylor paid attention to her, she got on her knees and thanked God. She should have been more careful for what she prayed for and now a million of questions were racing through her mind as she sat here in health education class in a daze.

They started a new topic in class: PREGNANCY. The week before that it was sexually transmitted diseases. Why didn't' she apply what she learned in class to real life. Brianna knew the consequences of having unprotected sex. The sheer thought of HIV in the black community should have scared her enough. One night of pleasure could be a lifetime full of pain. And now the issue of pregnancy. Could she really have a life growing inside of her? No. She only had sex once, she couldn't be. How in the world could she let this happen? She was only sixteen, what in the world did she know about love? Better yet…how could she be so naïve to think Bobby Taylor was actually in love with her? He took her chastity right in the back seat of his daddy's Cadillac Escalade. Said 'he wanted to make love to her.' That wasn't no lovemaking. Hardly like any of those steamy sex scenes you see in the movies. Bobby Taylor was a minute man: in and out. He didn't take his time at all. Matter of fact he was very rough considering she was a virgin and all. Her feelings were the furthest thing from his mind. She was just another one of his conquests and she could have kicked herself for being so damned stupid.

Well it was too late to take back time but if she had to do it all over again, she would have saved herself like her mamma told her. She recalled the thousand of lecturers of 'respect your body because noone else ain't going to.' She said, 'don't no real man want to settle down with someone who is all used up.' You know the kind that's been with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. She said, 'a man wants to bring a woman home in the image of his mother…a respectful woman. Said a relationship was between a man and a woman and not a boy and a girl. Said a real man would respect your feelings, even if you didn't agree with him.' Mamma went on and on about a REAL MAN and yet Brianna was stupid enough not to listen. Not to her mother and all these lessons they were getting in class. Everything was really weighing down on her mind…too much for a child. Yes, a child who thought she was an adult. Thought she knew everything when in reality she really didn't know nothing.

Now Brianna had to be stuck carrying this fake baby for the next three weeks. The darn thing looked so real, even cried too. The baby also had a name, Robert. And guess what? You also had to feed him, even change his diapers. This darn baby is so heavy. How in the world do they expect you to carry this and your schoolbooks to? When I got home, mamma said this was just what we needed. Said, 'these bad chillun need to learn the lessons of what adulthood really is since we're all in such a rush to be grown.' Mamma said, 'she wish she could be a child again. Not having all these responsibilities and all.' Said, 'boy it would be nice if she could have that feeling again, if only for just one day.'


It hasn't even been two weeks and this here baby is driving me nuts! I don't have no peace and quiet around here. My mama wouldn't even give me a break and Bobby Taylor just laughed in my face when I came to him for some help. Just needed a few hours to myself, hell I'd settle for a few minutes. Why was he being so mean to me? This was the same person who told me he loved me just a few weeks ago. Although I know this isn't the truth now, I'd at least thought he had some compassion. He just looked at me like I was a fool. Came up with a thousand excuses. The nerve of him but he will carry the responsibility soon. You see, I'm pregnant too.

A relationship is between a man and a woman, not a boy and a girl. You'd better think twice before you do something that may affect the rest of your life!

I Should of Thought Twice by Kimberly McKenzie

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