Walking a snow covered beach 
watching the tide roll in
I drove my car through the valley
and parked on a mountaintop
I slid down the shute in my brand new sled
and braked to a stop at my neighborhood bar
I talked to a woman who used to be a man
As she poured champagne into a fish bowl
I smoked some dope and shot some weed
Went outside and peed on a tree 
that changed into a fire hydrant
I got in bed alone and answered the TV
when the phone announced American Idol
I fell asleep and awoke in heat
The girl from Ipanema was lying beside me
She was beautiful and naked wearing a scarf
She opened her eyes and looked at me
Make wild love to me, she said
I eased beside her, rolled upon her
As she spread her thighs wide to invite 
As she moaned in joy, I began to enter
And then I woke up.