May You Rest In Peace, MOM

Mother taught us TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you are going to kill each other, do it 
outside, I just finished cleaning."

Mother taught us RELIGION: "You better pray 
that will come out of the carpet."

Mother taught us about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to 
knock you into the middle of next week."

Mother taught us LOGIC: "Because I said so, 
that's why."

Mother taught us MORE LOGIC: "If you fall out
of that swing and break your neck, you're not 
going to the store with me."

Mother taught us FORESIGHT: "Make sure you 
wear underwear in case you're in a accident."

Mother taught us IRONY: "Keep crying and 
I'll give you something to cry about."

Mother taught us CONTORTIONISM: "Will you 
look at that dirt on the back of your neck."

Mother taught us STAMINA: "You sit there 
until that spinach is gone."

Mother taught us about the WEATHER: "This
room of yours looks like a tornado ran 
through it."

Mother taught us about HYPOCRISY: "If I 
told you once, I told you a million times, 
don't exaggerate."

Mother taught us THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you in this world and I can take
you out."

Mother taught us about THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner."

Mother taught us about ENVY: "There are
millions of less fortunate children in this
world who don't have wonderful parents like 
you do."

Mother taught us all about ANTICIPATION:
"Just wait till we get home."

Mother taught us MEDICAL SCIENCE: "If you
don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going
to get stuck that way."

Mother taught us EXTRA SENSORY PERCEPTION:
"Put your sweater on, don't you think I know 
when you are cold?"

Mother taught us HUMOR:"When that lawn 
mower cuts off your toes, don't come running 
to me."

Mother taught us HOW TO BECOME ADULTS:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll
never grow up.

Mother taught us GENETICS: "you're just 
like your father."

Mother taught us about our ROOTS:"Shut
the door behind you. Do you think you were
born in a barn?"

Mother taught us WISDOM: "When you get to 
be my age, you will understand."

AND MY FAVORITE MOTHERLY TEACHING.

Mother taught us about JUSTICE:
"One day, you will have kids, and 
I hope they turn out just like you."