I’m in the pursuit of happiness
I strive to make myself over in His image – I fail but keep trying
I fall, fail, falter 
Time after time I see myself repeat mistakes that should have been left in childhood
Teenage-hood, hood things, hooded figures
Figuring eventually something has to happen 
If I keep pushing then surely my steps will eventually fall into a pattern
Patterns…….
Blood spattered clothing reminding me that happiness is not a natural occurrence
IT requires abandoning habits
Sometimes people 
I cry 
I moan
I pray
The pain is too much for me 
Unbearable
How can this be?
How come I can’t find this elusive delicacy?
When will I stumble upon this thing….this desire…..this need?
Until I do find what I seek
I remain in the pursuit of happiness