Pain Runs Deep

by Lakesha Jenkins-Applewhite

The pain runs deeps 
To the core, to my heart, crushes my soul
It seems the feelings I once had for you are through
I look at you and see a stranger looking back at me
I find myself staring in the mirror trying to recognize the changes 
I discover the changes I find in me I attribute to you
Disbelief as I realize I have joined myself 
to someone completely dissimilar to what it is I need
I punish you repeatedly for not being what you never said you’d be
For whom you can never be
This image trapped forever in reverent memory 
Lashing out at you 
Pushing you away
Demanding you retreat from the love you thought you found in me
I say the words but they don’t ring true
Can it be that I {do not} love you?
Realization smacks me in my face
I feel my chest but the beat inside has gone away
Silence…deadly silent
I cry, I mourn, I scream
I am not in pain any longer
Although I know what happens next can only be torture for you
No more pain for me

Pain Runs Deep by Lakesha Jenkins-Applewhite

© Copyright 2012. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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