Child Dying

by Lakesha Jenkins

 Feels like a lifetime since I held you in my arms
If I could see that smile on your face I know that I could feel something again
Something….anything….nothing….I am numb
Memories play inside my head whether I am awake or asleep
I watch them in detached amazement and misery
It is as if they belong to someone else instead of me
Days turn into months into years and still I am unable to find release
Release….relief….reprieve….I am trapped
I can not move forward and there is no going back
I hope and I pray that somewhere in your heart I’ll always stay
But that would be cruel
I hope you have forgotten me
I pray that you have found the strength I lack and moved on
Death cannot come quick enough
I have convinced myself that life without you is not life at all
I am unable to live without you
How can I remove the memory of our child’s  last breath as she lay in my arms dying
Traumatized…drained….devoid of emotion….crying
It seems like its been a lifetime since I held you in my arms
I cant bare to see you…for in your face is her face
And you can not unburden me from this pain
Somehow your absence as robbed me of my ability 
I am unable…unwilling…unprepared…unconvinced
That you will not call me
You can not see me
Refuse to hear me
Never again will you hold me
It hurts you to much that your love cannot heal me
Forever more between us this impenetrable silence
This is the legacy left behind when parents lose each other
As a result of a child dying.

Child Dying by Lakesha Jenkins

© Copyright 2008. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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