I need to find that first shine 
the sun brings in the dawn 
Cause my life is phucked up right now 
and just like Badu said 
the shit just keeps going on and on and on 
i dont think itll ever stop 
its got my dreams haunted with premonitions 
of me dropping down 6 ft deep for good 
suspect thoughts like a hood child 
with unfufilled dreams 
Victims of perception and reality 
like Ashanti sings songs in A minor 
i wish i had the power to write that one liner 
that would flip the switch 
that lightens this darkness 
following me everywhere 
like it was the accomplice to the robbery 
that took my ambition 
how'd that be for some irony? 
find the path of the truth 
through the haze of many lies 
and im still a product of my youth 
youd think id be surprised somewhat.... 

But im not 
Its just all my thoughts are beginning to swirl 
so what kinda shit you got bothering you in yo world? 

Cause my world got me seeing things in shades of orange 
like im the first nucca on mars 
how's that shit for black history? 
but my world got me hearing birds chirping 
and trippin the phuck out 
cause i swear they be dissin me on tha low 
Lost my direction 
so which way do i go 
for an interjection of some semblance 
of where common sense used to get its mail 
my world got me feeling like when i take a breath 
that God just be setting me up to fail 
Cause we all gotta die sometime 
Fighting with my rhymes 
like im trying to do rehab in a lika store 
cause my flow sees the light 
but i keep pulling it back 
wanting to deejay a pity party 
and im the only black person going 
See my words be knowing where i need to be 
they're the reason why im free 
so why wouldnt i listen? 
Im trying to figure it out myself 
cause i dont want to die 
And im hoping somewhere in this haystack of words 
there's a sign that reads... 

Help. 

Cause i be seeing abstract visions of my demise in stealth 
And i be running from death like it has white sheets on his head 
like the grim reaper suddenly ran out of clothes 
and said phuck it 
ill just use this old pair of sheets on my bed 
cause my soul is too leery of things you cant see but feel 
like there's a knock on my front door 
and my mailbox has "E Till" painted on the side 
im no king but i have had many dreams laced with gleam 
and a mockingbird cant sing on the soundtrack to how im living 
because my way of life is too gory 
a wolf in sheeps clothing 
like denzel played on A Soldier's Story 
do you have any answers for me? 
because i've collected all the questions 
heard all the ideas, thoughts, prayers and suggestions 
of what it is that's making me see a black sun in the sky 
is this shit all in my mind? 
some dysfuntional cloud formed for my talent to shine? 
whats the reason to my rhyme? 
because ive got so much of my time at stake 
im trippin like a single catholic girl taking birth control for headaches 
feeling fake like Michael Jackson using Oil of Olay 
i dont know what else to say 
left without any other choice 
there's nothing more for me to give 
so for once ill shut the phuck up and try to just 

live