Friend:It’s another story about a college girl auctioning off her virginity
lol go head girl.

Me:Lord i wonder if i'm too old to auction off my girl
i know she not a virgin
she a lil used
but i know how to work her
does that count?

Friend:LMAO!!!!
hell naw that don't count!!
ROTFL!!!

Me:shit, that's just wrong
she's considered an antique
antiques should get more money than new
i got history
and experience

Friend:right lol just like cars, them new cars cheap
them old cars sturdy 
lmao

Me:that's right
i also got staying power
i mean really
what's the better deal here

Friend:u too much for me today lol
i done got u going lol

Me:no really think about it
i'm vintage
that counts for something most of the time, why not my girl
anyway virgins don't know nothing, she just new and tight....
i know what i need to do to make it happen
have them damn toes on his ass curling
i mean nobody gets all nostagic in a new car
you don't wanna rub the seats and the dashboard of a new car
only an old car makes you wanna feel it up
stare at it
marvel at it
seriously rmde
smdh
i'm a better buy!!!