Ten Years in A Box

by Chereen Fredericks

 In loving memory of my niece Shirnal Nicole Davis 3-23-85 - 9-31-95
                     RIP my Beautiful Brown Angel

I took your box off the shelf,
sometimes at night I think of nothing else.
A box full of items that froze you in time,
forever ten years old that thought still blows my mind.
It's strange how life can fit into a box,
put the memories inside, and slide on the top.
Ten years of life so neatly tucked away,
that's how we end up on our dying day.
Flesh and bone departed this earth,
a person who I'd love since birth,
is a box on a shelf of things I must save
because love starts in the cradle but surpasses the grave.
I look back on that day and still can't believe
God thought it was your time to leave,
just talked to you on the phone,
how could I know God would call you home.
A word to everyone take care of your own,
because one day their here the next day their gone.

I lived that year in a haze
how could I not I put my heart in a grave.
Don't remember much about it; don't know how I got through
just closed my feelings down during the day and at night cried for you.
I looked at your pictures and wrote your name,
my love for you driving me insane.
It was like tears of a clown
laughing and smiling but when no one was around,
the tears how they did fall
because Death is the biggest cruelty of them all.

So my role as "aunty" came to a sad and abrupt end
and I never wanted to hear that word again.
I could never say that I missed you because that would make it real,
and somethings are too raw to fill.
I graduated but didn't learn a thing
just prayed that this bitter winter would bring a righteous spring.

But I guess for you I'll always wear my heart on my sleeve
and your being taken away from me is something I'll never believe.
Would have probably lived out the rest of my life in a haze
but the doctor told me I had a baby boy to raise.
Not a replacement of you but someone to give my love to.
It's the kind of thing you do when your grievin'
because pain has no rhyme or reason.
It's like a pit in your soul
put anger on top and watch it grow cold,
live your life like a martyr,
giving your heart to freely and raising a child without a father.
This journey through death and birth has taught me I'm promised
nothing on this earth, cherish the memories I have of you,
son my love and so the best I can do.
God has said it and I know It's true
oneday we'll be standing next to you.

Ten Years in A Box by Chereen Fredericks

© Copyright 1999. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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