The words "I don't need a man" have never come out of my mouth. Never. On the contrary, I am a strong, independent, financially stable, beautiful Black woman and I would like nothing more than to have a strong, secure, financially stable beautiful Black man by my side.

I have been separated and divorced for a total of two years and during that time I have had to find my own way. I've had to handle my business and by the grace of God, I believe I have succeeded in doing just that. I have stayed away from the relationship thing because I wasn't ready to fall back into that after my husband and I split. Well, now I'm ready but it seems that I just keep coming up short.

I have been told that although I have never said that I don't need a man, my actions scream exactly that. I take care of my children and myself, I'm not in debt, I have a good job and I walk with my head up everyday. My mother told me that's what it is – my walk. She says I have a certain attitude in my walk. When I questioned her about it she said that when I walk into a room I say, "I'm here and don't mess with me" without opening my mouth. I kind of like that. But at the same time it can be very intimidating for brothers who are on the weaker end of the spectrum. Which is okay too – because I've had my share of weak brothers.

Is there really a shortage of strong Black men? Or do all the strong Black men want weak women on their arms? This puzzles me because I know that I'm a good woman. Even my ex-husband would attest to that. So why can't I find a good man? Is intelligence intimidating? Wouldn't a man want to share his bed, his life and his money with a smart sister? Or would he prefer a beautiful fool? I honestly believe that men see me and think that I don't need them. That I would prefer my battery-operated companion to a living, breathing sexy Black King. Or married men, who assume that I don't want a permanent man in my life, approach me and assume that kind of relationship is all I need.

Let me set the record straight: Brothers, just because I don't need you to pay my bills or get my hair done, doesn't mean I don't need you. More importantly, I want you. I would love to be with a man that was with me because he wanted to be not because he needed to be. Why do men have to feel needed? What is that? I don't want to be a burden or a drain on my man. I want to be able to bring something to the table. I want him to know that I have his back no matter what. And guess what? As a Black woman I would have to get in your behind every once in a while – comes with the territory. But you have to admit Brothers, that no one can love a Black Man like a Black Woman. So you have to learn to take the good with the bad.

So what should I do? Should I put on the appearance of a chicken-head in order to get a man? Should I change my walk so I don't look so intimidating? Or should I continue to wait? I'll wait. I'm growing and learning during this process and I'm enjoying the journey despite the downside. Everything in due season.