This handsome man lying before me once called me selfcentered, you’re wearing your heart and feelings on your sleeve he said to me, yet daily I bended my knees, praying to the only God I knew. Jehovah God!. Daily he visited me, sat with me, talked with me. On Sunday mornings he even got up to meet me at the old church where I’d spend so much time praying to the Father. Only he said I bowed because I didn’t know myself that, I was looking to find myself and some how needed to reach a means to my delayed self-realization of who I am and the truth that he had come for me, which was my destiny. With him I felt so full of life and free. My security was with him, he protected me from all harm and danger, never once did I in forty two years feel insecurity or fear.

Successfully interacting with him was very crucial at first, then I learned what it meant to desire and want to be with someone constantly, then that great day can when he asked me to become his wife. New at all this I didn’t know what to do, but he told me Honey what you need to do will come to you. Being we were now husband and wife, I readily set out to make him happy as he did me. Many said our marriage wouldn’t last six month but they was wrong, it lasted forty two years. Forty two good years, blessed years.

I was determined that no one would interfere with our relationship, not even his mother. Loving him was a constant challenge. Together as we worked to create what we thought a marriage should be, I learned to listen to him and he learned to listen to me. I don't intend to mislead anyone when I speak as I do. See loving relationships are not an automatic process, it doesn’t just happen. It’s hard work but worth it when you know that someone loves you back.

To love in a moral sense is not to be confused with mere feelings. Love, we were to learn, is not just sweet sentiments. It’s the willingness and ability to undergo difficulties for the sake of the welfare and happiness of others. In a sense, love is sacrifice. Learning to love him I learned to cultivate from within my being, putting the greatest effort I possibly could up front, holding nothing back. Giving, sharing and receiving without counting who gives the most. Observing the norms and standards of behavior in dealing with each other, we grew as one. He, my head and God ours. Such love taught us to reach out and touch the soul of the other. Our greatest accomplishment was in fulfilling our obligations to each other and our family, living up to our commitments, and making investments of time and effort which benefits each other.

Through loving each other there was no personal gains to collect, our happiness came in having the confidence of establishing a stable and happy family in our life. Our happiness came in satisfying each other. Thus the path of true love is not to receive something; it is the path of sacrificing and living for others...investing and investing again, one hundred percent of everything...then God’s love starts circulating. Living absolutely for others is like creating a typhoon which unleashes tremendous power. And just as fast as we reached that accomplishment of peace above understanding in our marriage. He was gone.

Yet feeling him and knowing that he can never die, I wait upon the day of judgment when we both shall be together again as one. Missing his arms, his loving kisses, his broad wonderful smile. My heart ache to feel him near me, to hear his strong booming voice as he call out to me when he entered the door after returning home from a long day of service. My eyes are dry now, No more tears shall I shed, I would like to say no more pain shall I feel in this existence. But I would be lying. I haven't grown there yet.