Let go, Let God they say to me.  
(and then you shall be free)
Judging, watching, seeing all wrong.
Let go, Let God they sing their song.
I can't let go.  (I don't know how. I don't want to)
What makes them think it isn't God?
Let go?
I can't let go.

Without Bill I'm lost (They don't know what he is to me."
With out his presence in my life,
his touch, never to feel? 
(It's not a sex thing, Bill is the other of me, I am his wife. 
Between the two of us, we have a blessed life.)
Without Bill, My life cease
My pain increase (the whole of my life I've been his wife)
and now you say, I must let go? (to give up Bill at this stage of life means that I'm through.)
Tell me how dear God?
Tell me what I must do?  (in my mind eye this isn't true)
Tell me someone, what if it was you,?
No he's not saved as you would say, 
but husbands are saved through wives, and wives through husbands, I understand.  
God blessed me I am sure with this good, kind man.

Stop speaking as if he's dead and gone.
He's right here.
He's not gone he's flesh, blood and bones
A spirit that can touch the coldest heart,
A smile that warms the snow
light up the dark, make a cold room warm,
Let go?  (my goodness, my goodness, how can I do such a thing? 
I can feel the drill asas the cold unwanted chill, pierces my brain, 
as it drives me insane. I do not will to let go of my mane)

You at you and look at me.
Your life of loneliness,  emptiness, is this what you desire for me?
Look at you and look at me and you say Let go? 

The good book says to me, keep your dignity! What you have is not for me.  
I do not want your kind of dignity.
I don't know what make you feel that you are greater, or better than me.
What's dignity?  (God's blesses my thoughts my mind, my dreams)

What's life without Bill?  There'll be no me ( I love Bill. and he loves me)
Without Bill what's integrity?  (see Bill is all the world to me)
Without Bill life have no meaning, 
I'll stop dreaming, screaming, joking, enjoying, converting, hugging, kissing living, should I go on?

I'd be like you, where there's only time, in existence
The past can never disappear,
The future can't come
Sorry people I'd rather be in my Honey's arm.
I need Bill in my life to keep me from harm.

Let go! Let God! this I can understand,
But you're not God, and Bill's not your man.
But you. that's saying this "Let go" is just another human being
lacking so much, without happiness or dreams

With the love of my life and God I can do almost anything.
I can't let go, I won't let go.  He's my husband, and I am his wife
since childhood I've been his wife and he's been in my life.

He's much alive. He's not gone, he's flesh, he's blood
he's joy, he's right here, loving on me and releasing my pain.
I love him with all my heart, you would understand if you drop the jealous and loose the pain and give your life to God.

Let Go!
catherine butterfly
1996