So many trials so much pain
I knew the day I left church my life would change
I cried telling "God" I felt inside I was suffocating

I didn't want to perpetrate or even fake my spiritual walk with "God"
So I walk away back into the darkness of the cold world
Deep inside this was where I was suppose to be

The light walking into the enemy's camp 
 I new "God" would not let me back slide
Within I had hope; I truly wasn't trying to be a super saint

"God" humbled me in spirit and made me wait
Whatever I was going through "God" knew and was right there

I knew he loved me because he would not let me slip 
into what my mind was thinking
He gave me free will it was my decision 

"God" is a jealous "God" and he was not going to compromise his position
I knew I was still accountable for my own mistakes

So this was what I began to pray

Dear "God first let me thank you for loving me the way you do
I know I walked away from you and realize it was all my choice
Still I knew you loved me even more I could not completely turn my back on you
Every time I tried I felt the warmth of your love embracing me
Even when I begged to 'sin' you held me tighter 
I could feel your tears weeping
Telling me my life had purpose and meaning trust thee