my sisterfriend
from 5 years past
came and dropped life on my doorstep
and told me
in very specific
not so prolific
straight up and down terms
brother.... its your turn
I took her through changes
trying to talk my way free
and steer my way clear
from the responsibility
lingering at my knees
with my big brown eyes
staring back at me
wearing thick braids
with colored twisties
and a power puff backpack
pack with 13 years of responsibility
....and my name stitched in the seams....
I patted her on the head
and walked past
because my mind
could not yet relate
to the flesh and bone stem
that grew from my limb
that needed
my nurturing touch
every morning when she woke up
As my sisterfriend
(ok lets keep it real)
As my baby's mama drove off
I scooped the bags from the floor
and stood at my front door
watching my free time
fleeing like a criminal
of a senseless crime
....you see....
she was tired and disgusted
with my immature ways
and my sporadic telephone calls
every 30 or so days
tired of all the games
I had already mastered
forcing her to play along
tired of me taking the receiver
off of the phone
so I wouldn't have to explain
why all my money was gone
only to make promises
that I would only keep
until I hit the streets with my peeps
I put my baby down
for the night
only to wake back up
at 3am
to muffled cries in the dark
turning to top of her lung screams
from a nightmarish dream
her young mind still confused
from having to consume
24 hours of adult drama
watching daddy fight with mama
all afternoon
instead of watching
her own tv in her own room
I held her in my arms
and rocked her back to sleep
whispering calm
barely audible words in her ear
....daddy's here....
....daddy's here....
she turned warm as a blanket
and dried up her tears
shhhh....
....daddy's here....
....daddy's here....
as my calm words
turned sedative
to my child's ear
easing her back to rest
I slept that night
with her against my chest
throughout all the drama
B...S ...and change
a child's needs
always remain the same
I found myself
reborn into a new self
fresh parent
from the womb of a mother
and we were two children
given to each other
I give all respect to all mothers
forced to raise children
and re-raise the men
that father them....Peace