If I Were Not Your Mother

by YaYa Nkisi

If I could take away the pain I would, but no pain, no growth in this journey called life. More importantly this is the question I pose to you, if I were not your mother who would you be?

So you are not real happy with the lessons in life you have chosen to learn this lifetime and because I am the vehicle that brought you here, because I was the nurturer who held you to my breast as you breathed your first breath of life, this is some how all my fault? So tell me please who would you be if your mother were not me?

The role of mother is indeed a sacred gift entrusted to us fortunate enough to have had that gift bestowed upon us. In some cases this gift did not come through the form of birth, but rather elected by the person wearing the title of mother. One thing is so very certain that when I choose to be your mother I did it on the wings of faith carried aloof by the need to be needed, to make a difference in your life. I received no manual of operation, but I did get an emergency number and on many occasions divine insight has guided in waters I had only viewed from the seat you now sit in. I see me when I see you so I can only try and improve on how I would like the picture to be. Which really makes me think, who would you be if your mother were not me?

So now that you are under a lil stress you want to blame me for this mess. Each and every situation you find yourself in is a direct result of a decision you made and one I had to accept you making for this is your life you are living. If it was a bad decision I was there to hold your hand and in a good decisions I rejoiced from the joy in your voice. As you suffer from your growing pains remember I am also growing and going through my own pain. As you make decisions for your future keep in mind I to have a future I must plan for.

Some how we have both gotten to the place we are today and it was together that we arrived, so tell me who would you be if your mother were not me?

These were my thought this morning as I sit here going through some lessons of my own with some of my beloved children. Having Ms Angel in my house (my newest grandbaby) is indeed providing me with some rather interesting learning experiences. Not only the effect she is having on me, but the effect of all those that are a part of my very immediate family circle.

This experience has me reflecting on my babies and how we all got to this place we are now. My mother really never interacted with my babies and this made me want to have a better relationship with my grandbabies and I do, but I also know the relationship I have with them is not the one my children want me to have. So it makes me think, they'll do better when it becomes their turn, is that what they call evolution?

How many times have you found yourself after having made a decision you wished it had been the other hand you choose, I think maturity is living with the decision until you get to the next place in time.

The person you are today is an accumulation of the experiences you have lived to this date. If you keep breathing your experiences will continue to grow and with some effort on your part you can get it going in the direction you want, cause if you can think it, you really can achieve it! We all have a hand we are dealt and we cannot continue to cry over yesterdays hand which as come and gone like rain on a summer day. Momma may not have always been right, but because of her is a real big influence on who you are today, good, bad or indifferent.

If I Were Not Your Mother by YaYa Nkisi

© Copyright 2001. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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