I am

I don't

I will

I can't

I want to

But, I won't

These are some of the emotional phrases I've spoken verbally 

and mentally that pertains to our schizophrenic relationship.

I'm beyond confused and overwhelmed to act upon a concise thought.

I want to run. I want to listen to the loud voices yelling at me to run. 

Yet, I stand still instead.

Steadfast, unmovable, bracing winter without protection from her cold embrace.

I succumb to our environment with hypothermia slowing my heart rate.

Blame overwhelmingly takes over us.

I try to calm the inferno of flames, 

but my tears are not enough to drown a burning desire so ashes remain

Our precious memories of hurts and losses weren't consumed. 

However, the embers of our delight just float in the wind for everyone's viewing.

The devastation of a burnt down residence saddens all onlookers.

In spite of it all, there's not a pinch of sympathy from me or you.

Because

We won't or don't

We want to or will

Yet can't

Seem to love the other

Enough

Enough to

Make new memories to replace the old

Stop the sparks of our tongues that ignites

Guard each others hearts for a love soo strong

Embrace all the pains and admit ones wrongs

Heal to trust one another to completely move on

See a future that we once wanted soo deeply

To see God's purpose for you and me

So

I choose to

I will

I am

Going to

Love you

Even if you don't love me

Enough

Enough to

Know that you're just as broken as me

See the mistakes, faults, and liability that I own.

Recognize your selfish finger pointing is not working.

Understand that I can't repair us alone.

Feel the bystanders diss ease, disappointment, 

and disgust as we participate in our soap opera diaspora

Get that how we treat each other is how we treat our on selves.  

Enough, enough, enough!

I don't

Won't

Or have to

Blame you anymore!

I love the both of us. 

So much so, that I'll  let go.

Freedom for you

Freedom for me

Because enough

Is enough is...

Enough