The Calm in the Eye of the Storm

by Kimberly M. Thompson

I woke up in a very bad place todayÖ.I donít know why. On the verge of tears, overwhelmed with emotion. I feel like Iím drowning. Being pulled down in quicksand. The more I fight to get out the deeper I sink. At this very moment in the midst of my darkness a friend is sent to me today. This very possible, very probable soul mate. Thereís just one thing, if only we had been another place and another timeÖlong, long ago. But for me, Iíll always consider him fondly as my friendÖmy heart. In your lifetime there may only be one or two special people that you allow to claim residence in your heart and this man has.

While coming into my home this Sunday morning so courteous and flashing that boyish smile he begins to probe my uneasiness. Starting first by peeling back the layers of armor Iíve encased myself in. Very few people see me in my entirety. Not even those who have woven themselves into my inner circle. But today I felt like an exposed nerve in a bad tooth. And can you imagine how he dared to expose me? He held out his arms and motioned his fingers for me to come. I couldnít. I was scared. With him never putting down his arms he walks over to me in silence, wraps me in his arms and strokes me softly.

We may not see each other very often but when we do itís just like yesterday. His touch, at first, is so gentle I can barely feel it. MeÖIím drifting in slow motion as my fingertips outline the curves of his head, the maze I call ears and moving down the line of his jaw like a blind woman reading Braille.

His hands are gently running through my hair slowly massaging my scalp. All the while heís looking into my eyes trying to find answers that are buried deep within my soul. I feel like heís searing holes through me. Iím watching him watching me and being cocooned into a trance-like state. I have no recollection as to how we laid and sank deep into my feather bed. The descent was too surreal. No words were yet to be spoken. He kisses my lips ever so gently and traces my eyebrows with his fingertips. As I lay there, almost unable to breathe, he kisses my eyelids and buries his head in the crook of my neck. My friend hugs me so tight itís as if heís holding me from running away after a bad fight. Iím on lock down. I couldnít escape even if I wanted to and believe me I didnít.

Iím a firm believer of the independent; I can take care of everything myself woman. But at this moment, right here, right now you could have turned me upside down like an hourglass and watch the sand slowly trickle down a grain at a time. This is how pulled apart I felt. With only these small gestures he extend to me, the floodgates of emotions I was trying so hard to keep under control burst forth while bound in his strong embrace. You can only carry stress, pain, worry and fear for so long. First one tear, then another. And truly I believed he couldnít feel my breakdown while lying on top of me. Iím still telling myself I got this. Iím in control. NOT! I finally and completely break down and he never let me go. Finally he says, ĒItís OK, you canít be strong all the timeĒ, then there is a long silence. After what seems like forever he whispers, ďI needed something today too. Thatís why Iím here. I needed to be held by you as much as you needed to be held.Ē Those are his only spoken words. All the while during this highly charged emotional scene we continue to hold on to each other as if we're afraid this isnít really real. I have to say this is one of the most sensuous non-sexual encounters Iíve ever experienced.

It was a release in a sense that I can only compare to as an ultimate orgasm. He didnít liberate me until my breathing steadied as well as my body. My friend then raises his body just enough to look into my eyes, wipe away my tears and smile. And so do I.

Everyone should experience my story at least once in their lifetime. For an event like this cannot be shared with just anyone. This is strictly for the connected at heart. When he came to me this morning I was coming apart at the seams. But with his kind and caring acts I was sewn back together.

To my friendÖ my heartÖ I thank you.

The Calm in the Eye of the Storm by Kimberly M. Thompson

© Copyright 2008. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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