by Tee!

Reunited are we really,
or is that what I want through these eyes so blurry?
Did I open up to all this pain and agony?
As I feel the blades of your so called love cutting through me fiercely.
I allowed you to enter that place that took me so long to heal.
Selling me dreams when you were supposedly "keeping it real". 
Looking in the mirror a image stares me in the face -
is this my so called fate?
Looking back, drifting down memory lane.
Thinking that you and I both have changed.
Believing with age we both have gotten wise,
but you're just like the rest under your good man disguise.
Examining situations I thought were old,
guess not cause a grudge is what got us on hold.
You say it's not that - you blame it on age.
You claimed to have moved on, it seems as though you're still on the same page.
I thought I was blessed cause you loved me with my flaws,
now it seems as though it was all to get in my drawers.
So were the walks and side street talks all a part of your plan?
Convincing me that I had the last good man.
When you didn't pressure me, was that a part of it too?
It worked cause I would have done anything for you.
When you took me to the beach and park, were you sincere?
Did you mean all those things you'd whisper in my ear?
When you told me that I was your first love, was that true -
or was that a part of your plan too?
When we had sex in your backseat, was I considered a whore?
Is that why you pull back instead of offering me more?
You enjoy having me on the sideline,
you like the fact that you could've sexed me anytime.
You pop in and out of my life whenever you feel the urge.
Telling me more and more bullshit, different from before.
We'd have sex, you say you'd call.
Of course I don't hear from you - was I worth a hello at all?
Maybe I do expect a little too much,
hell no - all I want is for you to be upfront.
So was I another notch under your belt?
Did you brag to your boys about how I felt?
Am I another name in your black book?
Did you write all the positions and how long it took?
Was I a quest to be conquered?
Am I rated by stars or numbers?
I guess I mistook sex as a relationship,
I should have known better when I didn't get a goodbye kiss.
We'd have sex and maybe fall asleep late,
all I'll get was cab fare and a "make it home safe".
At least that was before you got the car,
then it became a drop to my door.
If I slept over I was never there past twelve much less ten.
I wasn't even worth meeting your son even after taking so long to tell me about him.
Why do I put up with it, I don't know.
I know now that this is payback for my actions years ago.
They say what goes around comes back ten times worse.
It's killing me - the things I did, this pain isn't worth.
Well I take it and as a lesson learned,
I played with your heart over ten years ago - to date I get burned.
Reunited were we ever?
Payback is all it was the times we were together!

Payback! by Tee!

© Copyright 2002. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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