I wanted to be there for you.
Why did you push me away?
I watched you destroy yourself,
Slipping further everyday.
I wanted to help you.
give you everything - anything...
that you needed to be okay again.
But there was nothing I could do
Without consent from you.

It pained me to see you hurt.
I wanted to give you my love,
to ease your pain.
What made you restrain?
Fear of trusting ... of loving?
Of your own
vulnerability?

You hurt me when I tried to come close.
Begged me to stay
When in despair, I ran away
"I love you", you'd say.
I'd melt ... and comfort you
and feel guilty `cause I thought
about my own feelings...

The day came
when I was about to break.
I had to choose between
my sanity and my love.

- - -

I didn't get the closure I needed
You died.
I blamed
me
you.
Were you the victim
who failed in your struggle to survive?
Or selfish,
using people without caring?