Why do I feel I have something to say
... but no one will listen?
I hate that this conviction rules my reality.
I say no one will hear me
Thus I tear unborn thoughts from my belly
Exposing the bitter rawness of unformed feeling -
stinging tears through me
I did not ask for their conception!
I close my eyes and wait to die.
When I look around, all is still.
There is no movement - I have rejected fruit - and I
Too much coward to birth thoughts into words.
Too little strength to raise words into vibrant
Only the pervasion of my terrible silence.
Who am I to act on the words I might utter anyway?
There is only me
And no one out there cares about my reality.
So I sit here refusing to think
In fear that my thoughts will be wasted
In fear that my words won't be heard
In fear that my actions will be in vain
I refuse to move.
Estranged from the part of my spirit that conceives
feeling in me
Abortion after abortion
The pleasures of Love coupled with the Oppression of
I am unloved when I am free.
Is it God who whispers? Do I wait for lightening and
thunderous shouts from heaven?
"Those that compel you must act on! Go out! Give
Don't sit there afraid!"
There is no voice ... I have no words for the
of my spirit towards the unknown
And my body rejects the flight...
My mind hides from the calling.
There will be no rest until my purpose is
And I have only to listen to make this purpose known
But I am afraid of the movement of the world and the
temptation of destiny on the innocent
I stand outside it - eternally lifting one foot,
The other refuses to follow
I shut my ears and scream
Shut my eyes and faint.
That if I listened
If for a second one foot left the other
I would find that my soul says to me...
That my spirit has retired
... and there is nothing left to say.