Announcer:      "She's in her little bubble, she thinks she's safe.
                Let's call the phone inside her sound-proof booth,
                see if she picks up."

Miss X:         "Hello?"

Announcer:      "Congratulations! You've just been PLAYED!"

Miss X:         "What?"

Announcer:      "I'm calling on behalf of 'Yo Man'. Congratulations! We have
                a marvelous grand prize to offer you, and many other
                complementary gifts. I know you must be ecstatic but try to
                listen carefully to hear about your prizes."

Miss X:         "What is this about? I wasn't played, he wasn't 'scheming on
                this ass'. Nigga, what?"

Announcer:      "Maam, our studio audience has been observing everything while
                you were behind the (emotional) screen. We can assure you that_
                You have been_"

Audience:       "PLAYED!!"      (uproar, clapping)

Announcer:      "And you thought you weren't lovable, you thought nobody wanted you.
                Ye-es maam, we heard those thoughts late at night, didn't we audience?"

Audience:       (excited, anticipating) "YES"

SOMEONE GIGGLES_

Miss X:         "I-I_"

Announcer:      "We can't tell you if you're lovable, we answered that one while you
                were still behind the screen. Sorry to say, you stayed in 'Yo World' a
                l..i..t..t..l..e   too long."

Audience:       (giggling).

Announcer:      "Bu-ut. We are happy to upgrade your status from 'Worthless', to_"

PAUSE

Audience:       (tension)

Announcer:      "'Fuckable!' Yes, you are Fuckable! Even the finest of playas are willing
                to Fuck you!'  It was a tough decision, but 'Yo Man' voted for your upgrade.
                And now ladies and gentlemen_ the prizes."

Miss X:         (confused, gasps_)

Announcer:      "Why so shocked? We won't tell 'Yo mama' (laughs)."

Audience:       (giggling).

Announcer:      "Congratulations Miss X, You've won:"

MUSIC

Announcer:      "A life time's supply of Ben & Jerry's and Hershey's Chocolate delivered
                to your door. You don't even have to get up to gorge your troubles away.
                And that's not all_"

Audience:       (hushed tension)

Announcer:      "Free Kleenex so you don't cry all over your ice-cream like you've been
                doing for the last few days -  While still telling yourself you weren't
                played! Ha! Can you believe that audience?  So modest, this one!"

Audience:       (giggling)

Announcer:      "And, the Grand Prize:"

DRUM ROLLS_

Announcer:      "Free long distance minutes - FOREVER!
                for all those 'men ain't no damn good' talks with 'Yo sistas'
                and all those 'I told you so. _ It will be alright baby' talks
                with 'Yo mama'"

Announcer:      "Tell the audience how you feel. I know you're still shocked,
                all these new and wonderful gifts, not to mention being 'Played'
                and 'Fuckable'! You must be over overjoyed."

Miss X:         (Sniffling)

Announcer:      "Tears of joy audience!"

Audience:       "awwwh"

Announcer:      "Unfortunately, these prizes will not be presented by 'Yo Man.'
                He had other bitches _ ummm 'candidates' to attend to - the show
                must go on.  But 'Yo sistas' and 'Yo mama' have been watching the
                whole time and will be happy to present you with these gifts."

Announcer:      Above all! This is not a one-time game.
                You can be played any time, as many times as you wish.
                In fact, you're about to meet 'Yo Next Man' right now_

Audience:       "oooooh"

CLICK.


                Hello? He -eh llo? That's how the story ends ladies and gentlemen.
                There she goes behind the screen. Is she giving up, going home?
                Or is she fucking 'Yo Next Man' right now?

Audience:       (giggling, clapping).

Announcer:      "Will she be 'Played'? Will she find out if she's lovable? Will she
                drop again to 'Worthless' or can she hold on to 'Fuckable'? Tune in
                next time folks!"

Audience:       (clapping and cheering).

Sound fades_