Yesterday, I cried. 
Yesterday I cried. 
Today I am numb 
Numb, like it mattered 
but you didn’t matter 
Did you? 
I am confused, sitting here listening to the screaming in my head 
Distracted, so that I only respond the second or third time I am asked 
“Why so quiet?” 

My head aches from all the screaming and silence. 
Trying to keep my lips shaped in a smile that expresses 
Quiet composure, contentment, contemplation… 
Silent explanation 
made them go away satisfied. 
Perhaps I need to adjust it, the smile 
It’s rumpled, but I am tired. 
They approach, as usual, but no one asks, 
Their lips move, but they don’t ask anymore 
Uneasy fear leads them away from my screams 
Questions of silence forgotten. 

Numbness lives here. 
Madness is knocking 
But why? 
You didn’t matter, you don’t. 
Do you? 

My numbness is special, 
like my emptiness, but painless, 
follows my tears from a respectable distance 
Tears fill my emptiness, eases it… but disrupts my numbness 
Somewhere in between, I cry 
Numbness is my favorite, 
Still, its visit surprised me 

I didn’t think you were important enough to bring me this comfort 
But then I didn’t think you mattered enough to bring me this pain