Yesterday, I cried.
Yesterday I cried.
Today I am numb
Numb, like it mattered
but you didnít matter
I am confused, sitting here listening to the screaming in my head
Distracted, so that I only respond the second or third time I am asked
ďWhy so quiet?Ē
My head aches from all the screaming and silence.
Trying to keep my lips shaped in a smile that expresses
Quiet composure, contentment, contemplationÖ
made them go away satisfied.
Perhaps I need to adjust it, the smile
Itís rumpled, but I am tired.
They approach, as usual, but no one asks,
Their lips move, but they donít ask anymore
Uneasy fear leads them away from my screams
Questions of silence forgotten.
Numbness lives here.
Madness is knocking
You didnít matter, you donít.
My numbness is special,
like my emptiness, but painless,
follows my tears from a respectable distance
Tears fill my emptiness, eases itÖ but disrupts my numbness
Somewhere in between, I cry
Numbness is my favorite,
Still, its visit surprised me
I didnít think you were important enough to bring me this comfort
But then I didnít think you mattered enough to bring me this pain