by Soyini Denise Liburd

I found a dove, I coaxed it home.
I courted you, stole the soul you owned.
I owned it and you.  I took control.
I watched as I became your world.
I used you, abused you.  Knowing -
Your love would be
Eternally for me.

I made you walk beneath me.
The tasks I ordered so hard.
I got REAL MAD, when you failed.
Why couldn't you try harder to show what you're worth.
You made me hit - made me hurt.
I didn't mean to
Just had to teach you
Make you - better.

You lied for me, protected me
And what's more
You loved me still.
You're loyalty, baffles me.
At times I love you for it
Sometimes, it makes me sick.

Perhaps you thought a family
Would make you and soften me.
We had a child - two, three
Such sweet kids - only
"Why can't you keep them under control!"
Clenched fists lash out...
Again.  I can't stop - again and again...
Even though, I know...
You whimper in pain.
Another bruise to explain away
I'm not worried, you'll know what to say.
You stay.

We fooled no one - they all knew.
Maybe it embarrassed them or they thought help would embarrass you.
Maybe, to them, it was none of their business...
Whatever.  Doesn't matter.
Fact is...they knew.
The self-righteous look in their eyes betrayed them like the marks on
you betrayed me.
Doesn't matter cause we'd all smile and pretend not to see.

An elastic trap:
You stretched it, you left
I tugged it, you came back.
Your strength failed, your beauty paled, your life dwindled away.
I watched you crumble.
Watched you die.
Why didn't you stop me.
Why didn't I -
Stop myself.

It's too late now.
The mourners wear black.
I should wear white: a straight white jacket - a white straight jacket.
You never told.
I don't wear what I should.
I clothe only my shame.
If only you'd known that I'd never change.
You die - I remain.
For always - the same.



Epilogue by Soyini Denise Liburd

© Copyright 1999. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

TimBookTu Logo

Return to the Table of Contents | Return to Main Page