Between Friends

by Soyini Denise Liburd

Examine your reaction, 
Listen to the way 
your voice changes 
when you know it's me. 
To the things you say 
if a friend visits me. 
Measure the pace of your heart, 
when I kiss you lyrically. 
Then tell yourself - Strong 
You feel nothing for me 
but friendship. 

Forget to notice, 
the things I don't even realise 
Like another man's eyes 
on my thighs. 
They only smile for you. 
And for what? 
You don't want me. Right. 
Isn't that what you say 
to you at night? 
Make sure you believe it. 
Before I make a bigger fool of myself. 
Before the shard of my heart that I live on 
One more time - 
and becomes too small to support me. 

You want to battle for my head. 
But my heart - what's left of it 
Is all I have to give. 
And if it breaks 
one more time. 
Then I will have nothing. 

You hurt me.
Yet I am silent.
Ingesting pain, while whispering curses inside.
I wish I could say, "Fuck you."
But I am quiet...terrified
that my lips will betray me.
I have heard them more than once,
in dark corners: "I love you", "I love you."

I will never speak in your presence.
Lips are two-edged swords.
To speak is to die.
I will live with my shame.

Between Friends by Soyini Denise Liburd

© Copyright 2000. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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