Dear Mommy

by Siarra Turner

Dear Mommy,
It is your little girl
And sheís crying again
I love you mommy,
Tell me you know
Tell me you see
Tell me you feel my love
With everything I do
Good or bad
Black or white
Proud or shameful
For I do love you mommy
But do you love me
Do you want me
Are you proud
Of the young lady Iíve become
And the woman I
Will one day be
For I canít see you mommy
I canít see the love
I canít feel
Nor can I stand
The pain you put me through
Do I hurt you mommy,
When I say the wrong thing
When I do the wrong thing
And yet feel happy I did it
Do I hurt you mommy,
Cuz you hurt me
When I do anything
That isnít to your liking
Yet as I grow, I know
There isnít anything
I can do to make you happy
To make you smile at me
To make you proud
My life is hell mommy
With you in it,
Yet I find it would be hell
Without you
I love you mommy,
But your love is painful
And full of an emotion
My heart cannot fathom
Nor can it endure
I pray for you mommy
I pray for your life
Your love
And your happiness
I pray that I can rid myself
Of this growing pain
Of the growing hatred
Of youÖfor you
Iím unhappy mommy
Canít you see
Donít you see my tears falling
Canít you feel my pain
With every word you speak
I want to go away mommy
Get away from you,
>From life with you,
>From everything
I want to grow without you
So one day I can say
I did it without youÖ
Arenít you proud
Help me mommy,
Help me get better, 
Cuz daddy canít help me
Brother canít help me
Only you can
I need you, I love you and
Want you to love me back
Talk is cheap mommy
So your words of love
Fade with your contradictory
Action of disappointment
When will it end mommy
When will my pain fade
And your love grow
Cuz Iím tired mommy
So sick of this torture
I want to scream in pain
Every second of every day
Till my voice cracks from
The agony, and still 
Scream louder
You donít hear me mommy
For even my words wonít register
Even my pain wonít trigger
The relationship that is
You and I
And that fact that itís dying
I always thought
If anyone, you would hear me
Know me and understand
But you donít, you really donít
So donít tell me you do
Cuz I wonít believe you
You donít notice me mommy
Until I do something bad
Something wrong, evil
Yet so many good things Iíve done
So many nice words of love
Of pride and trust
And yet rarely do I feel appreciated
Why wonít you touch me
Why does my skin frighten you
You wonít hug me anymore
And it hurts
Iím sorry mommy,
Sorry that I had to tell you
Iím unhappy, and itís your fault
Sorry that you donít seem to know
Sorry that you donít care
Sorry that you canít seem to
Show the love you claim is there
You donít know me mommy
No, actually, you donít
That part of me you know
Is the part I show to all
That part that masks the girl
In pain, in Satanís hell fire
Look at me mommy,
Canít you see my bruises
The blood that falls, drips
From my swollen face,
From the blows of your
Hurtful words and stares
Iím different now mommy,
My face, my soul
Is different, stronger
It has to be to live with you
To like youÖ
Canít you be sweet mommy,
Loving, compassionate
I fear you mommy, 
I fear your cruel words and
Harsh truth that a mother 
Shouldnít give her daughter
But her daughter should find 
And learn herself
Remember mommy,
I still love you no matter what
But Iím still crying
Still dying
Waiting, asking, praying for
Your soul to come and save me
From the lifeís hell

Dear Mommy by Siarra Turner

© Copyright 2003. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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