Bad Food to Just Food (Relationships)

by SelinaShardaye

Bad Food

Part one

This couple LadyFabulous and her man RoyalExquisite. Together for two years now lets look into a minds journey. A woman's own perception of communication. And so the feasting begins. They both have points of views. We shall be seated on her side of the table at this time. Listen as Venus rotates within Mars galaxy. This journey inside seeing them from outside.

She begins,

As I sit here in thought I'm here wondering what should I do. What I need to be focusing on here. Is it important that the little things go unanswered. Things I feel I want answered that are being ignored. I didn't know that you felt I was being negative. I thought it was all playful green pastures most of the time.

Silly eyed smooches and verbal love caresses.

Now She wrote Him a love letter.. He gave me no hurried answers to her letter and she had to slow down and wait for when and if he would.

This is a time of mental twist, and complex argumentations. Hidden emotions and their attempts at conversation. She's not so clear if she should go left or right sadness is her plate tonight. She speaks……to him from inside her soul.

I'm all dazed smelling this aroma of confusion. A dish of differences. That side order of sadness with the main course being hurt and lost.

As I swallowed and choked on a cold glass of watered down unanswered questions.

Do I consume this meal is the question do I finish this or push way from the table.

You began to spoon feed me a scoop of questions. That taste like cold mental bull crap. Its your flavor of the night and I am not feeling right.

You ask am I ok. I say no way.

A nervous twist on my nose lets me know stress is riding my back.

I need it to jump right on off. You ask me to answer some things and taste this plate of uneasy despair.

I don't know how best to answer, I just know I am feeling quite ill. And tired of this food before me.

So you proceed to convince me of how right you always are, as I quietly sit to listen but then am I listening whole heartedly? Hell no but at times I try to. You say you'd like a simple yes or no if I proceed with lengthy answers. I do it because it postpones my eating from this table.

Am I ok you may ask? Well excuse me for giving you such a long and informative answer I say.

When I'm feeling quite ill and just want you to answer me about things on my mind and return the love. I've planted on green grassy pastures. Where I thought love was all bliss.

Your often complaining about me and saying I sound negative.

It has me wondering what am I saying that's so negative. Do I only offer sweetness never speak of those things that consist of shadows, trials and tribulations...

My life has some downsides and some issues but has it caused you to serve me such a meal. Ah you are serving me this dish because of what you see in me you believe are shortcomings. What you serve at times are unfruitful bitter portions and disturbances?

This meal is not edible I want to up and leave at this time push away from the table. The smell is making me want to vomit and I told you I felt sick. You want me to sit quietly and just listen as I consume this foul crap.. Sorry I can't stomach it. Ok so you say I never listen its hard to. While having such a bullcrap pored down your throat, as the noise is stuffed in your ears.

And not interrupt you hey wait a minute I'm out. I refuse to finish. My heart just isn't in it.

You stand there to serve me a plate of your righteousness. This time you ask me to not ask you questions. Instead to answer your asking me how do I see myself. And then comes your long speech yet again. Your stories I often end of listening to it's all about you.

Now today's a new day and here comes a new plate and it's a better dish this time but oh how do I describe this sunny side up dish of eggs on a new morning glory, I approach with a bit of caution its a better smell of sermons, toast orange juice and meat.

You say it's sweet to awake to me early in the morning.. That alls at peace, I on the other hand a bit quiet and unsure as to how to take this. Dare to compliment you on this meal. Seeing how memory reminds me of dishes served tasting poorly. What's this hmm burnt hash browns I knew it wasn't perfect. Something had to surface in this delightful meal I frown and continue eating anyway no words I give am I to speak now.

I continue to listen and wonder am I to take these sunny side up eggs as vitamins and what you feel I need. Are these short scenarios examples of how you see me lessons to learn from. This is how you cook a easy served meal tasty light and easy. I take a small bite, sorry if I consume it with such hesitation.

Easy soldier relax let it go oh have a bite, He see's this as a dish meant to be good for me. I will take lil bites as I think on the flavors and of my own interpretations. Of the flavors that's provided.

Suddenly we are at a steady pace the spoon is dipping and feeding I'm fondly swallowing consuming as you notice ah eat on my love we are on a good stroll. Eat up now you may speak tell me your opinions add to this meal what do you have to add. I then ask for lil bits of sprinkled sugar perhaps on the toast. Your reply is yes that's fine eat up.

Why did I think I could freely add the trimmings at free reigns this again a table set to eat what you give not so much as taste of my added portions. Ah you took a smell of my coffee and used it as your inspirations to feed me more of what's good here. Do you care to know what I truly taste and feel... I then explain that my coffee is made how I like it wait baby listen. You don't even hear me its a one way street. Hey can I get some grits? Oh I see your not able to hear me right now. Your busy dishing me out my second helping.

Wanting me to keep eating burnt hash browns and all. I can't get your attention and look I have stopped eating and I want grits.

Caribbean food you mention as you imagine with a happy sound yummy oh I hear laughter in your voice. Which makes a woman happy, oh yes I wanna taste that laughter give me some, hoping I can get a taste. Pull me closer, there how's that smiles and sweet memory of Caribbean food. I smile rush over and release all my assumptions and fears. I love you I say. "Oh do you?" Yes I do, I tell you. And I want grits with my eggs. Laughing I hug you as you relax and start to really see me now not just this breakfast you want eaten. "I love you too," you say.

Amusements in the kitchen at the breakfast table. You are listening to me finally, and say sure I will serve you grits we hug and loves truly there. I imagine us growing old together. Letting the things I love about you come through. As you relax and enjoy my hot cup of coffee with me. Here's some cold tasty orange juice for you I hand over a glass. Oh you like that juice don't you, see I know.

We kiss and you continue to prepare for a long day.. We will have more pleasant meals than these. It's just that some aren't always easily consumed some aren't all that great.

I'm looking forward to dinner who's cooking me or you?

Just Food

Part Two

Ah what a night fun play turned yet again to sour play even foul play shall I say. Silence between us became the final touch. Till I chose to end the conversation between us two. A new day and it seems like this bitter plate came and wants to stay.

Baby good morning to you, ah your still somewhat silent not much to say to me. I'm wondering what is on His mind. Too early for lunch now mid afternoon a snack is good. How about a bowl of nice conversation. We engage in a taste only to find a bar of I'm keeping my opinions to myself from now on Mr. Good bar. After I let him really have it verbally.

As a woman I'm realizing our conversations now have a hurtful taste in the air. I'm discovering that this man has been holding a grudge from a past chat of a meal. So I ask is this what you wanna share with me baby. A grudge from last nights unpleasant meal. You have decided to hand me yet again a little taste of from now ons. With candy bars all stale and no fillings of sweet stuffings just empty nothings that are nasty. A chocolate thick bar of last night isn't rights.

Oh. I see you actually have a cold shoulder now for me while you say all is well today. So things are far from being over. Way far.

When really baby what I want are mostly those wholesome pleasant meals that seals such sweet deals and gives my body lasting chills. Oh I know that all things aren't gonna be sweet peaches and cream. I do but how long is it gonna be all bad and nasty funky tasting stew. Are you even tired now, do you realize the pain now that brews. Is this hurting you too. Tell me please open up the cupboards lets look deeper within and see what's on these shelves stored inside. What's in the refrigerator, are there many cold unhatched, unsolved, unspoken emotions.

Are there veggies filled with bitterness from the core? Giving birth inside from seeds of anger. There are apples that lack seeds of trust. Fruits that stand strong yet have seeds that have been replanted to grow substance with a bit of stubbornness in their nature. Complexities of condiments arranged in a descending order. All from the fact that I am a woman who's been used in wrongful manors. And now its gonna take my being spiritual and wise. To manage and rearrange these sorted things.

Oh this is all coming from my womanly perspective. Now come have a look upon these storied shelves in my kitchen. The bottom shelf is where I hide away all my hurts. And as we move from shelf to shelf there are many canned things. From canned goods to canned illusions sorted confusions. Some sheltered and reserved hurts.. Quiet mixes of hold your peace boxes... Jars of pickled preservatives for lasting sweet treats. Jared sauces of be your own bosses and independent seasonings. I don't take no bull crap spices, and I'll kick some ass ketchup.

The outlook from Venus,

A woman sits across the room from her man two madly in love individuals, sparkles fly often of dazzling love blazes that unite them in such love crazed interactions. That crazy sweet, kinda good, kinda love. United in baby I love you's. Yet past delicates do surface on the scene between them. Moments where the past comes to present unrest when their unity is unlike the past mess. Still it breathes old habits learned when usual behaviors are allowed to be served. Past ways of handling conflicts try to take control. Causing coldness to the present soul.

So as they start to play in a sweet conversational way. Carefully observe what one let their hands serve as it reaches from within its refrigerated shelves its deep storage of shelves.

That will cause dishes of conflicts among themselves. To be hidden on the table in hot dishes causing the meals to be so unstable. And it shall cut like royal knives slicing hurts with actions that are mean.

Watch your steps love birds there are some areas under construction drawers with handles left broken.

Oh and wait plates that have tiny chips and cracks.. Cups and bowls that have suffered some scolding and mishandling that left them bruised. You two must both set a new stage upon which to build. Know that the tools you already have on hand are ready and in place having been through a terrible state. So now wait you will find that some dishes need to be discarded. Some foods are very bitter. You may be surprised to find what's left within a well kept fridge to the eye. Are things too dangerous to apply.

Now to those who are on the outside looking in. She sits across from her man chatting you see them hear them. Laughter comes to silence a grin turns within to a frown. You may assume a breakups about to go down. Bad Food, to a meal that's Just Food. Has so much more to it filled with a variety of attitudes. Disturbances and dissatisfactions and crazy sour reactions to bad tasting bowls of stew. Breakfast is tainted.. Till they are given the eye to see what is happening and how to toss out the old used and sour things unhappiness it brings.

They both began to choke on what appeared to be simply artichoke no one spoke. A positive note.

But ah its the love that will bring them both out to see what its all about. That will cause them to toss out the old and restore new things. Pray to be healed and shop for peaces agreeable consolations.

And again She speaks on...

After all the served dishes of cold despair I find my packets of apology gravy cook it well and proceed to pour it all over a tray of meatloaf tonight.

Have I been in this alone this entire ordeal believing there's such tangled differences. Because he used to says things were so wonderful.

This is a time for healing and yet He's saying he has no issues to be revealing.

See I'm finding that to be fake as all out get out, and he says I'm the woman with the hang ups the only one with some attitude and words so cruel. uh huh I see well come here and open your ears wide and just shut your mouth while I show you with your blind self what your food really taste like cause it's all mostly been bad food, some just food and then some untactful bull crap.

He wrote her a sweet little note…saying "I gaze at your Moon-light Eyes your touch like a soft Rose Petal. Lips as Sensual as the Sea Caressing the Shore .. Who Am I but a Timeless Winter's First Snow flake. That gently touches your Lovely cheek. Complex and intricate in design but as simple as the air we swirl around and dance in. On a floor of chocolate covered rose's and ice petals. I reach to touch this brilliant Angel in flight and I smile ever so slight"...

By this she is awed and thrilled until...Again he deals her such mixed messages.

Bad Food to Just Food (Relationships) by SelinaShardaye

© Copyright 2006, S.A.M. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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