Hey Pops..whadup...I dont even know how i should even come at you though. Yeah, Im just thinkin about how I wished we could be...i aint lookin 4 that brady bunch kind of stuff not even that huxtable love...but you know stuff like...shoot fellas I cant swing it today...Im hanging with my pops to go cut this yard, ya feel me. Or some stuff like, naw pops this how you tie yo tie...remember you taught me.

(sigh) Man...where you at my dude...(sigh) I need to holla at you 4 a minute. (laugh) I remember that time when moms was like hell naw I dont wont you back fool after you gambled the rent money away and she put you out...man I was up all night wondering where you went...but that next morning...shoot I was happy then a mug cause I saw yaw laid up together...tell me man why didnt you marry moms...she loved you like my granddaddy loved my grandma....to the grave...shoot...she was only trippin on you cuz she wanted something better 4 U. A Pops...man I need you..I know I told you I hated you the last time we was in the same room but I was just angry you know...why you aint never call me?...it didnt matter you was gone all the time...but daddys supposed to call they sons....right... why you aint never call me....I would have...I would have loved to just hear you say...."a son wassup" but naw I couldnt even get that from ya.

You know --momma, she did me right..she tried to step in and do things wit me that you NEVER did...(see now Im angry)...man...ain't no woman supposed to take her son on a damn fishin trip...that right there was supposed to be us...Pops! where you at man...Shoot she taught me how to drive, how to cut the grass, how to give myself a haircut cuz sometimes she just couldnt take me to the shop, man she even taught me about condoms and orgasms...where was you at...why you leave me like that man...why you leave us...see now..see what'chu done...I got these punk tears rolling down---all becuz my daddy, my pops, didn't pick up a phone and say...hey wassup...my moms told me dont ever walk in the footsteps of another man unless its your fathers steps...man all this time I thought she was talking bout yo ragedy tail...but she was talkng bout the man above...man I needed you...where were you...(sighing with harsh tears) WHERE WERE YOU?

You couldve been there that night....you couldve saved me that night with just a phone call...but naw man its too late...I can still hear her say...in her soft low voice...son I'm taking your love with me to heaven and sending it back to u thru the wind so you can always feel me...I hear her pops!! I HEAR HER POPS!! She's every where I go...I feel her...but where were you...in my dreams I hear a phone ring and its you tellin me not to get in that car....tellin me to come meet you at the park to shoot some hoops...but...(crying) its not you...its one of my boys momma calling me...telling me that she's gone...that car...that night...that gun....I shot it...I didnt see anybody...I shot it...I didnt know she was there....I shot it...it was dark and I was just out being young and stupid...I shot it...my boy told me "ain't no bullets in there man"......(sobbing)...I SHOT MY MOMMA!! She gone and for what...you ain't the blame...naw pops...but all I want to know is.....WHERE....WERE....YOU!!