An Inanimate Object

by Anonymousgent

I know this may sound crazy, but out of all the inanimate objects within the universe I would classify the chair and couch as the most interesting ones of them all. Yes, this is only one individual's opinion, of course, just like all human beings possess whether good or bad. Why do I label the chair as the most interesting object from all others? Well, for starters, a chair was created, designed, and formed by its inventor to hold, secure, and support the body weight of all people regardless of their size, shape, or pounds of weight. Regardless of the miscellaneous materials and com- ponents used in making a chair, whether the seat is hard or soft bottomed, he or she will definitely bend at the waist and knees on a daily basis in order to simply sit down. It is a real comfort within the duration of any day to get off of ones tired and aching feet. I know I would. What about you?

Think for a moment! Compared to all other inanimate objects within any dwelling place which includes, a table, a lamp, a bookshelf, a broom, a refrigerator, a mop, a microwave, a televison, a computer, a dresser, a mirror, a laundry basket, a hamper, or that of any other, imagine the pain and enduring of the suffer- ing chair or even the couch which is in this same category? Why do I class- ify the chair or couch as enduring pain and suffering on a daily basis? Right on my friend, you got the picture! How in the world would you like people flopping their posteriors down on you day in and day out if you were a chair? Uh huh, right! You probably would feel miserable having to absorb in all of the various unpleasant as well as pleasant odors from miscellaneous buttocks planted on your seat for different lengths of time throughout any day. Of course pleasant odors will always supersede the unpleasant ones, right?

So, guess what? If you were a chair, you would simply have to take the different levels of abuse from some 'uncaring' and 'unfriendly' people from all walks of life who continue to flop their various scented behinds down on your seat with not an ounce of passion for how you look after they elevate themselves from your seat. It really does not make any difference if your seat is made of wood, plastic, steel, cloth, vinyl, or even leather cushioned. Why do I say this? Very simple! Odors will stick and penetrate within any sur- face for a certain length of time if it is not cleaned and disinfected on a daily basis. Let's get real! Any rational human being would rather breathe in a pleasant odor over any old funky, unpleasant, as well as offensive body odor from another ill mannered human being. Here is an example!

Two weeks ago, I was at a movie theater, of course, watching a movie. Seated in front of me was a couple of teenagers. Both were about 6 feet in height. One was black, and the other was an Oriental dude. Both looked like they were 18 or 19 years old, and both were acting very inmature. The Oriental dude, who was well developed, in terms of upper body, kept sliding his round shaped buttocks back and forth into the cloth cushioned chair and repetitiously grinning back and forth at his black buddy. The tall black dude, chewing repetitiously on a plastic straw hung from his thin lipped, but wide mouth had his long legs wrapped over the back of a chair in front of him with his large feet pressed into the cushioned seat wiggling the seat back and forth like a wild madman.

At the end of the particular movie, these dudes finally stood on their feet. I suddenly noticed, along with another woman who sat next to me throughout this whole movie, the Oriental dude's pants from behind. This woman and I both covered our nose from the offensive stench that flowed from this guy's posterior. This dude's pants were completely worn out on the right side. There was a small rip underneath his back right pocket. Black and white stains were deeply ingrained in various areas of his worn out jeans on the back. The black dude's jeans were almost worn out as well, but there was no body odor flowing from him. His jeans sagged a little below his narrow waistline, and he wasn't wearing any underwear.

If a chair or couch could have the privilege of talking, these would probably spit out the following phrases out of its mouth, "Pfoooooooooooo- oooey!" "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggh!" "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeew!" "Eeee- eeeeeek!" "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" and probably, "Noooooooooooooo!" Can you only imagine these sounds spitting out the mouth of the suffering chair or couch?

An Inanimate Object by Anonymousgent

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