Here I sit, in this dark place all alone. My spirit broken, my will bent to an indescribable structure, and my heart surely broken. I am now numb to the pain of my world for I have wallowed in it far too long—it consumes me. I am no longer afraid for my spirit for it is long lost, long broken, and the determination I once had exist no more.

I have run uphill all of my life, with one goal in mind, to reach the top, so that one day my children and I could enjoy the graceful stroll back down. That hill has become a mountain, and it now stands poised to fall on me.

I have searched day in and day out for a reason to go on—it eludes me. My thoughts are of a gruesome ending to what has already been a miserable life. There is no light at the end of my tunnel, only the promise of a deep darkness. I am overcome with failure, and encouraging thoughts have become a stranger to me.

My mind is tired, it begs for my mercy, to please put it to rest. The fire that that fueled the heart of a lion has burned out. The air—its life, has been choked out by the cruel realities of this World.

Here I sit, in this dark place, searching for a reason to go on, a speck of light to guide me out of this miserable place. Surely, it cannot be down the barrel of this gun?!!