A Goodbye Letter
It's been approximately 3 weeks since I've last seen you. I must admit, you swept me off my feet the first time you touched my lips. There was a warmth that went all through my body.
As time went on, I thought you really cared about me because you always greeted me with warm kisses when I came home from a stressful day at work, you tucked me in my bed at night, you even helped me wake-up in the morning on occasions when it was hard to get going. Yep, you had me.
I thought all I needed was you...that you would take away all my pain. How wrong was I? You only made the pain worse. Made it deeper, to the point where it consumed my whole being. It's all I felt, all I tasted and strangely, all I craved.
I gave up so much to be with you. I neglected my family and avoided my friends, for you. I stopped doings things I enjoyed like writing poetry, long walks with my dog and gardening, for you. Hell, I was even willing to die, for you.
But you see, I realize now that you wanted me to die. You planned to slowly kill me, suffocate me and poison me with toxic thoughts. You were waiting for me to give up the fight and give up my life. I was to be your victim, not your lover and surely not your friend. I was nothing to you, just another potential conquest to add to your wall of death.
I'm sure you thought I'd miss you and come running back to you. You thought I'd be eager to get drunk on your love and let you soothe away my pain. But I don't have pain now, only regret. I regret that I ever met you and became so intimate with you. I regret that I believed you could solve my problems and calm my fears, ease my suffering and wipe away my tears. I wasted so much time with you, time I cannot get back. The only thing I can do now is take Twelve Steps forward, away from you.
See, I'm finding true happiness in myself and in others who don't seek to destroy me but rather build me up and guide me through this new journey. I believe there is a Power greater than me. A Power I can rely upon to help me resist temptations of you.
In case you haven't figured it out yet, our relationship is over!! I don't need you, so go away quietly and don't bother waiting up for me 'cause I won't be back! You are no longer my drug of choice. I choose to be sober.
Nyah (a recovering alcoholic)