I grow tired of writing poetry 
About all of what I want to be
So decided it was time to write something
About ME 
Literally
Who it is that I am
Right now
In the flesh
With no make up on
And none of that designer mess 
Covering my flesh
Therefore;
I’m standing here butt naked
So if I tried to lie
I couldn’t even fake it
I’ll attempt to keep it as real as my hair…
Ok,
My nails
That just so happen to have acrylic layering to prevent breakage
Anyhow,
The truth of the matter is

I am insecure.

I wake up every morning and put on a new mask
Business woman by day 
Who, in all actuality is underpaid
And is so grumpy at times
Friends say I need to get laid
Honestly, it’s a shame
Often times you’ll catch me looking thru the numbers in my cellular phone
Notice I said looking…
Because most times I have no one to talk to
Besides one of my girlfriends who’s in the same boat as me
Out here in LA on this wack a** dating scene
And I don’t even try to feed into the stereotype
About black women and this attitude thing
So I simply explain it as having dating ADD
It’s hard to get my attention
And even harder to keep it
I mean,
How many first dates must a sista go on
Only to find out that I knew from jump
This man was not for you?
And I dare not hold my breath
Cuz I’ll mess around and turn blue
I just like to get out of the house sometimes honestly
I grow tired of watching On Demand movies with my mommy
Or downing bottles of Moscato stating that I’m classy
Because at the end of the night I take my a** fast to sleep
I get myself inebriated to suppress my reality

I am lonely.

I’m not talkin’ about bored
Or all dressed up with no where to go
But lonely
That d@mn, you don’t even have anyone to phone bone with?
That d@mn, you’re that acquainted with a plastic and vibrating di**?
Yes, I’ll admit…

Hello, I’m standing here butt naked
Even if I tried
I couldn’t even fake it!
I’m a struggling artist 
And am out here just trying to make it
Struggling to find the courage within and stop being so scared
Struggling to not be defined by others supposed practicality
Struggling to put down the 8-5 and just DO ME!
Something else I’m a bit apprehensive to admit to?

I’m scared to fail.

About as scared as I was back in the day of the Boogie Man
However this monster that I’m fighting today is my own woman
Who just so happens to be my harshest critic
Can’t even loosen up and Just Do It
What makes me happy
What brings to me fulfillment 
Standing in front of crowds like these
Spittin’ a few lines of my… 
Creatively spoken poetry
Sittin’ in a cozy spot and developing characters
For the novel that I’ve desired to write 
Goin’ now on 4 years
Singing a few songs 
Even if it’s just a few folks that can yell out
“That’s my song!”
While they sing along
Because the content of my lyrics hit home
Professing and sharing my education with the multitudes
Showing off this sassy lil’ attitude
And showing to the world my gratitude
Giving a piece of me that for so long has been misunderstood
So, as I stand here; in essence, butt naked
I hope that you in the least bit could dig it
Cuz this is…

About ME
Literally
Who it is that I am
Right now
In the flesh
With no make up on
And none of that designer mess 
Covering my flesh
I’m standing here butt naked
So if I tried to lie
I couldn’t even fake it

This
Is
Me.