father, what made you choose not to be in my life?
look at the legacy you left me in your absence
being without your presence...
you left me...divided loyalty
needing to be validated, I searched for love in all the wrong places
some of which, I don't even remember their faces
My character and principles are compromised daily
I'm an emotional wreck, I'm afraid to trust, I'm angry
and resentful, I make wrong decisions, I'm needy, possessive
always having to be in control
I'm afraid of my "Good Thing"
sometimes I think, in this lifetime it may never be seen!
there is no growth, stunted by the past,
it's real sad, But I' m still mad
this is all I know!
this is all I've been shown
came from a household, raised by a single mother,
over the years she's developed
an attitude of "why bother"
passed it on to her daughters!
she's fulll of resentment and unforgiveness
which brings about sickness,
urshered into her position,
not by choice, but by circumstance
sometimes I wonder did she ever think she had a chance?
or did she believe that in life,
things just happened by happenstance?
will she ever come to a place in her life,
where she will just choose to "STAND"?
she has many hats, wears them well
mother, friend, disciplinarian, confidant, way maker, comedian,
but the same legacy preceded her, "absent father"
left with an attitude of "why bother"
a constant cycle, one that "must" end
if not now, when?
Then I had a thought, all is NOT lost
you see, one day DADDY CALLED ME BY NAME
He's called my name many times before,
but this time it just didn't sound the same...
I listened with a calm, knowing He knows me better than anyone
He explained from whence I've come
He said, "My Design Was Truly Devine!"
I'm a woman of PURPOSE!
I possess SELF-RESPECT AND DIGNITY
I CALL MYSELF Sara's Daughter!
in spite of my father!
Daddy said, "there IS such a thing as REDEMPTION!
second chances, aren't so rare
I decided to accept the dare...
so I dared to believe that...
I AM BLESSED, MY SEED IS BLESSED,
everything doesn't have to be so complexed
I'm whole, I make sound decisions
I have stability, safety, a covering
I can succeed in life's tests
Hey, I can finally REST!
my existence is NOT a mistake
freely living, is so awesomely great!
"He opened unto me all of His good treasures
and set them as a seal upon my heart"
Just walked all up in my life
pulling down strong holds
and destroying the legacy left by my father,
you see, I realize now that because He bothered..
I have so much to offer!
It was all in the plan; I have been predestined to "STAND"!
things just don't happen by happenstance
so father, thank you...if you knew better,
you would have done better...
I know, I know, it's an old cliche',
but for sanity sake, One I will embrace
I was so busy living out the negative legacy,
I didn't realize that your absence
has given me more than I could have ever imagined!
You Helped Me To Find..."DADDY"!
and for all of you hurting children and adults
going through the drama of an absent father..
don't take the negative legacy of 'WHY BOTHER"
I don't offer any over-nite solutions,
just some measure of conclusion...
If your goal is to dispel the negative legacy...
and your desire is to live freely~!
my advice to you is...Meet Your Daddy!
Daddy, even though I often wept,
I Thank You for Promises Kept!
You are ONE AWESOME GOD!!!
peace and love.
|
