A few years ago my father passed.
Never really got to know him like I really wanted...
hurtful and sad.
In the beginning, I had mixed feelings about why he was not in my life...
often wondered was his heart contrite..
it's been a constant battle for him,
somewhat of a fight!
Now he's gone....
but, Daddy's Home
You know how you need to separate,
just plain ole' anger
from internal hate!
Hate...what a strong word,
what a strong emotion...
it's like riding the waves of the ocean...
up and down
with lifes' motions
feelings so strong....
Still... Daddy's Home
The last time I saw him, was in the hospital...
my heart went out to him,
I sat there,
both of us, were aware...of what happened in the past....
yes...my heart is still somewhat sad...
but I've grown....
and.....Daddy's Home
Often times, things aren't like the seed, that's been sown...
I didn't clearly know...
it wasn't so readily shown...
But, Daddy's Home
It's said, father's will indefinitely have to make that full circle...
back into the lives ....
(no)...I'm not gonna cry..
full circle...have to deal with things, that have been hurtful!
But, if you looked deep into his eyes....
I saw questions and alot of why's?
wishing he had been the focus,
in a life that has so much purpose...
to see you've grown into womanhood...
which by the way is so good!
nah, I'm not gonna cry...
but sometimes, I still wonder why?
apologized for all his mistakes...
touched my heart in so many ways!
all the bad days....
I've since put away!
It's now okay!
I'm straight...
Daddy has shown regret,
for obligations not met,
he wasn't perfect....
we often -times didn't connect...
but he was truly sorry for the un-intentional neglect!
can't really say he brought me much harm.
oh I know, he wasn't there in the long-run,
but....I have to say
what I do remember, is a man of calm
Really unfortunate...
the devil this time...played a cruel trick...
but I believe my dad, was heart sick!
I know I was,
often times longing for the dad, I didn't grow up with...
I can just imagine his...secret pain....
all the shame...
no gain...
the silent nites...
the red eyes...
hurt pushed aside...
stripped of pride...
not all things' as I thought, were taken in stride
for reasons unknown, he just couldn't decide...
but it's okay..
even if you never confide..
I know deep in your heart....
you loved from afar!
life can be a trip...
if you choose not to forgive!
as children, we often have to separate truth, from lies..
and allow God to do what he does best and that's...
Guide!
and He'll continue to abide!
So now I'll attempt to bring to a close..
a story that goes....
tears in his eyes...
Well, they speak his soul....
I forgive you, he was told....
he stood before his master,
humbled, yet bold
when to God, he gave his Soul!
Yeah the seed he has sown,
is now... fully grown...
legacy left....was his own....
in some ways, I felt the love,
He so desperately wanted to show!
Me...I now live with no regrets....
often times, it takes some-(time)
to heal from life's setbacks
and for that, I'm humbled and Thankful
for being chosen to live out my life
Being BLESSED!
So you see..
Daddy's not just gone.....
more importantly, Now....
In more ways than ONE,
"Daddy's Home"!!!
yeah, Daddy's Home!
********
Dedicated to my Dad...
(Willie Morris) who is now with the Lord!
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