So today is Valentine's Day, for some a wonderful beautiful day, but for me, well ummmm I don’t know.

Things haven't been going well lately but we decided to give it a try. Today at work, I received roses--2 dozen to be exact. (smiling ). I wonder what else is in store for me tonight. I can only imagine the romantic dinner, and those famous rub downs. Excitedly I call and tell my girl Lisa, as well as ask for some advice.

Since he won’t be getting home until late, I have time get to the store to get something sexy and spice up this cold front in my house and relationship.

I have it all planned, when he walks in I will be standing in a fierce sheer robe and it will be on from there.

So I arrive home and do everything as planned. He seemed to be spaced out a little, but I paid it no mind and kept doing what I had to do, but then I was interrupted by the phone ringing. I was going to the phone and so was he, which was kind of strange, seeing as he hates answering the phone..

"Hello- Hello!" I yelled twice but no answer; just hard breathing. I returned to do what I was doing and the damn phone rang again. No one there again.

When the phone rang a third time I screamed, "Stop breathing so damn hard you cow and speak!" At this time I knew some shit was not adding up and told him. "Look you can tell me what the hell is going on with all these private calls, or you can get your shit and get out!"

He looked at me and said. "I was gonna try and stay here and work this shit out, but since you always yelling, I am leaving."

I was like so you know you are just conveniently leaving on Valentines Day. I was so heated that I could barely breathe. I looked at him with eyes of killer and he in return just looked away. I was thinking to myself if he leaves now, I know that it's over and there is no way there can be repair. How could he do this to me, I thought.

See when I met Shangi, we had both been through a lot. All of the things that I had put up with were speeding through my head. The baby momma drama, the crazy nightmares of him being killed, the late night hospital visits I had to make, because his ass was to drunk to get up and take his own kids. The keeping of the kids, while he partied. I mean so many ugly thoughts were running through my head. Was he cheating on me, while was at home watching these damned bay-bay kids, I wondered?

Then I snapped out of it, "You leave me?" I screamed, "YOU LEAVE ME? Get the hell out, you bastard!"

"Don't let me catch you," and I paused. (He had never seen the thug side of me, and I did not want to show him; just in case I had to take drastic measures). "Just leave! You are a real sorry excuse for a man, you are really slow, I don't know what I ever saw in your ass, you mental case."

Not to be out done, I let him pack a bag and when he left, I just chilled out watched a movie and once it was over, I decided to get online.

I sat down to the computer and to my surprise Shangi (that’s my man's name) left his e-mail open. So of course I am in there. I see where he ordered me rose’s and had them sent, and I also see a e-mail from a mobile device with no name but plenty of information. Hotel, date, time, and also another order of roses; only a half dozen but still, another order.

Right then it all came to me. He is having an affair, I knew it, everything in me told me that something was going on. The signs were there. Sudden irritation of everything I said, he started saying things like "What ever you think," he said, "Really I just don’t care!" he yelled.

Now I am running around the house to blow out the scented candles and put on a comfortable t-shirt. I know there is no way he would be returning here in my spot, where I pay the bills tonight.

I grabbed my trusty sac of weed; i.e. cronic, and a blunt, because I knew that a joint would not help me right now.

I read through each e-mail carefully and it seems that he did a good job at getting rid of them all; then, just like magic I see one new e-mail.

Yes! Now you know I opened it quickly as if I was a child that did not want to share their candy. It was from the girl on the internet, she was here in town, the e-mail said and I quote. " Baby, Where are you, I am beginning to get worried." Huuumm, I thought.. So I wasn't crazy he had been creeping... Okay I thought to myself, I am gonna stop and roll this blunt.

I have to check my e-mail first. Noooo. I really have to roll this blunt right now, before I find myself at this hoe’s hotel room, doing some damage.

The blunt is rolled, and before I can get to the computer the phone rings, and it’s my sister, telling me Happy Valentines Day and I got a card from my long lost fling. To top it off, she was at the door with the card and was just dropping it off before she went to entertain her lover on Valentines day.

The letter was sweet, and the fragrance was nice, but it still did not take my mind off the fact that Mr. Shangi had me bent, I mean under, over, around, like I was a pretzel. I can’t wait to see his ass, but I knew this chick. She had e-mailed me a couple of times and then one day just stopped, I really didn't’t know her that well but she was okay. I should have know something was up, but never paid any real mind to it. So I searched threw old e-mails to see if I could come up with her e-mail address and I found it. I am about to give her the e-mail of her life.

Yeeeesss Ma’am as soon as I finish smokin’ this blunt. This Hoe got to get it and as for Shangi. Oh! Now you know it’s not over. Not hardly.

Okay so it's now the day after that dreaded Valentines Day, and my phone can only hold 25 messages (it's full). I decided to take the outside call on my line and to my surprise it's his baby momma (Boonie).

"Hey girl, I don't want you to say anything." she said." I am not calling you as my friend because that we are not. I have to be real with you, Shangi loves you and although it hurts me to finally get it through my head he does. I don't know what your and his situation is but atleast talk to him. Please take him back, he is walking around like a lost puppy, and he told me that he really loves you, but you are just really angry at him right now."

Click! The sound of the phone must have left bells ringing in her ear. Her voice kept ringing in my head. I had to leave work to clear my thoughts.

As much as I hated to admit it, it was really lonely and quiet without his presence. What's a girl to do? "Damn!" I said nervously, I knew he would be stopping by soon. To be continued.........