My heart is torn between two distracting thoughts of heart.
In one hand thereís the man I love,
and when contemplating know that he is the one I want to be with,
the one I want to marry.
On the other hand there rests a relationship
strictly based on unrealistic ďinfatuationĒ
but its so mesmerizing I canít seem to pull myself away from it.
Stroked by purified lies and resting on lustful sheets.
In the back of my mind I know my ďinfatuationĒ would rather choose this one.
But, there is at one point a flaw in his thinking pattern./
Heís hidings his feelings from me and whatís scary is I know he loves me
and in the back of his mind wants to be with me
but heís distracted by his environmental thoughts.
A love thatís so skewed it must now find its own path.
However, if steered in the right direction will smile.
My heart is filled with so much
because he is all that Iíve ever known and loved./
Now this ďinfatuationĒ has come along and ravaged my consistent thinking.
I canít make him out, canít figure him out,
because heís reserved, because her wears a mask,
and because he shows me the face that says
ďYOUíRE MY HOE AND THATíS ALL I WANT YOU TO BE!Ē
Itís twisted because in actuality Iím not his hoe, mistress, fuck partner etc.
Iím just his haven, his peace, his stress reliever, his place to relax.
But, I donít know if I want to be that
because in my mind I donít want to be second best.
Foolish and Broken.