My heart is torn between two distracting thoughts of heart.
In one hand there’s the man I love,
and when contemplating know that he is the one I want to be with,
the one I want to marry.
On the other hand there rests a relationship
strictly based on unrealistic “infatuation”
but its so mesmerizing I can’t seem to pull myself away from it.
Stroked by  purified lies and resting on lustful sheets.
In the back of my mind I know my “infatuation” would rather choose this one.
But, there is at one point a flaw in his thinking pattern./
He’s hidings his feelings from me and what’s scary is I know he loves me
and in the back of his mind wants to be with me
but he’s distracted by his environmental thoughts.
A love that’s so skewed it must now find its own path.
However, if steered in the right direction will smile.
My heart is filled with so much
because  he is all that I’ve ever known and loved./
Now this “infatuation” has come along and ravaged my consistent thinking.
I can’t make him out, can’t figure him out,
because he’s reserved, because her wears a mask,
and because he shows me the face that says
“YOU’RE MY HOE AND THAT’S ALL I WANT YOU TO BE!”
It’s twisted because in actuality I’m not his hoe, mistress, fuck partner etc.
I’m just his haven, his peace, his stress reliever, his place to relax.
But, I don’t know if I want to be that
because in my mind I don’t want to be second best.
Foolish and Broken.