Dark Thoughts

by Jackie Williams

Overwhelmed…… gloom shadows my soul
Wrenching my spirit away 
No hope to see another day
Riddled with doubt…..I wish I could shout
My emotional packaging……vacuum sealed
Tired of the struggle……wounded by doubt
Longing for death…….so here is the deal.
Fear stops my heart….lust takes my will
This has got to be a conditions
I’m waiting for the pill
Self-awareness has nodded
And given the green light  
To just end this whole matter
All that I know is…..
The sooner…..the better!

How do I do it?   This unnatural deed
Consumed with dreary longings 
Followed by  unquenchable needs
To relate and belong
It goes to the heart…it comes on strong
There’s no value in my being
Delusion playing tricks on my wisdom
Making me all seeing
The world at hand….I’ll make it a little brighter
With one less of me…..it’ll be a little lighter.
It’s all figured out
My esteem in the valley……so low…out of sight
Reaching a new low in spiritual height.

Darkness controls
My substance…..my soul
Hidden in pitch black…unreachable places
Manipulating mental landscapes
Taking on many faces
Imagery showing me doom & gloom
No place for the light…..I have no room
Sometimes I wish to run & hide
Overwhelmed with multiple voices
Seriously contemplating vehicular homicide
My mind ebbs & flows with choices
Coming & going with the tide
I want to know what’s in store for me
Only naught
Derivatives of my deep dark thoughts.

Dark Thoughts by Jackie Williams

© Copyright 2001. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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