Alright younguns gather round ol GUS got a little story for you. For years I been hearing about this place called PURGATORY. Never really knew what or where it was, but from what I'd heerd it was a place I didn't want to go. My sundy school teacher tol me it had something to do with Hades, or hell or something like dat. That was enough for me, I wudn't trying to find out a whole lot mo about it after that.

Now, nearing the end of my days, I don thought about a whole bunch o stuff that I didn't have time to think about 92, or 93 yrs or so ago. Looking back on life as I lived it, for me its always been like CRAWFISH in a barrel. I'd come up with a plan to get out and some guy in a greasy DOORAG or something would pull me right back down into the MAELSTROM that was life in that damn barrel. When I looked around, everybody else with a tad bit of sense was trying to do the same thang I was trying to do. The LOGJAM at the top made it impossible for anybody to go anywhere. And that was as good as all them outside the barrel wanted. While we was all stuck in there stepping on each other and killing each other and ridiculing each other and hurting each other, thems that was outside the barrel worked on other stuff, just in case someone did manage to fall out.

Well younguns here ol GUS sets. Right chere in front of you like a ol wrinkled, dried up RAISIN been in the sun too long. I had a lot of chances in my time and I took a lot of chances in my time. But in 90 some odd years I aint never escaped that barrel and I reckon in 90 some odd mo, if I gits that many, I still won't be done got out. But I aint nevah gon stop trying. What else I got to do with what time I got left.

But one thangs for damn sho. I loves y'all like my own and I don't want none of ya to be like me. I won'ts all of ya to be better than me. Open yo eyes, take a good look around, pull yo self up outa the damn barrel while you young and healthy and got the strength to do it.

Now heres how I think y'all can do it, hush now ya'll listen up. The first thang you gotta do is ..........

Mr Gus, Mr Gus! Wake up Mr Gus! Somebody call 911, I think ol GUS is......