Suicidal Tendencies

by hakim#1thatitsinglesolonomorenoless

What I know is I feel cold when it's not,
Subliminal is block,  all I see is twelve and six o'clock
This room is hot, I feel my demons
feasting on my thoughts like its takeout
I'm trapped in "what dreams may come" and I can't break out
My mind is like the gray walls of prison
In a war with myself and I've just in-listed
I suffer from loss of hearing and vision
Wishing inhibits my wisdom, I'm besides myself like subdivision
Multitude of prisms
Form octagons and such
The Glock is warm that I clutch
Anticipating the permanent hush
I leave impression like footprints on plush carpet,
right between the eyes is my target
I vomit.
Then the calm begets my spirit, the pain I feel is so relentless
Another side, I sense, something better then this.
I stare down the black tunnel
no light, just the plight of the Teflon,
cock the hammer squeeze the trigger then I'm gone
mutherfuckers will swarm, mutherfuckers will morn
But I'm all out of faith, It's how I feel, I'm just torn
And once it's done
In the Afterlife there are no guns
So what then?  When I'm tired of that existence
What will I become?
What have I begun?
The shadows in the still room move grotesquely
I right a short paragraph, my last will and testimony
hello sweet memory I know you can hear me
the shadow's claws vice me, the darkness prepares to receive me

             I write: For the record, I never liked this place

                             I wasn't my choice

                            But I never had a say

                            My Destiny is locked

I apply the John Hancock
My mark on this earth will be the blood
left on these parquet floors
Blood trickling from my jaws
And eternity filled of mental wars
What will bring me back?
2 plus 2, I'm delusional, can't make sense of that
I prepare myself, my death wardrobe, robed in black
No shoes, cause where I'm headed, there's no walking back
My contention is the only thing that can stop me is divine intervention
The Omnipotence has never interfered before so I squeeze and pray for
The slug came in slow motion
I watched as it entered the cleft of my chin...
"Is it over?"  I whisper
A voice whispers back, "It just begun my friend."

Where am I?

Suicidal Tendencies by hakim#1thatitsinglesolonomorenoless

© Copyright 2000. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

TimBookTu Logo

Return to the Table of Contents | Return to Main Page