Complicit 
Definitely a gamble the way we was playing it 
I called him John and behaved like a trick: 

Becoming complicit in an illicit affair is complicated
When the mind and heart are not in one accord-the soul feels alienated
There is the definite wrong and the definite right 
but so convoluted are feelings that nothing is seen as black or white
Everything is tainted when lust and desire control the acts  
Blinders form
Becoming visual handicaps
Impairments in judgment lead to reasoning the wrong
Temporary is fulfillment 
Permanent is being alone 
Ignored are the very simple truths that are far from fiction
Actual facts 
Intimacy is shared but love that is sacrificed will always counteract  
The heart beats out of rhythm 
Aware of the hurt that looms
Aware of pain that will naturally occur 
Aware that pain will occur even before lust devours and consumes 
Being complicit in an illicit affair is traveling blindly, 
led by passion, on a path ending in a place called nowhere
I called him John that’s how I got there