The Crawford Globetrotter

by Enigma

I went in the desert to cut some daisies
in search of black gold and Arab crazies
I waltzed through Baghdad to get Saddam and his people
Now I'm gonna round up the rest of this Axis of Evil
The Iraqis are liberated and I've ended the tyranny
Now they run through the streets smiling while cheerin' me
Or at least those are the images broadcast on cable TV
Did I mention that along with people, we also set the oil free?
My commands emancipated the wells from their yolk of oppression
Russia and France won't be too happy at the next U.N. Council session
Don't worry, there won't be any U.S.-Iraq occupation
Just be sure to fill 'er up at my Middle Eastern gas station
The approval rating is through the roof and the people want more!
Perhaps I'll engage North Korea or maybe Syria in a war
I'll say things like 'we should stomp out terror at all costs'
Maybe people won't notice that we haven't captured a single top terror boss
Where it will stop and when it will end nobody knows
I've made my allies angry with me while accumulating new foes
Oh well, if they piss me off I'll just bomb 'em off the map
Maybe I'll get lucky and they'll have oil reserves for me to tap
'Operation Enduring Freedom', 'Operation Iraqi Freedom', I've gotten repetitive
maybe my daughters can score me a really groovy sedative
I can let Colin have a turn running the country in the ground
it won't matter, 'cause in '04 they'll vote to keep me around
And this time I won't have to tamper with the process
The polls will have tons of votes for me in the ballot boxes
Who cares that since I've been in charge we've gone to hell in a hand basket
I haven't had to worry about putting a loved one in a casket
and for the record, my economy is doing just fine
I've never had a single relative stand in an unemployment line
But I digress and I'm getting sleepy now
I can't wait to wake up to milk another Arab cash cow
I can see it now:  currency with my face and the G-Dub Memorial under construction
The poor saps didn't notice we never found weapons of mass destructzzz....

The Crawford Globetrotter by Enigma

© Copyright 2003. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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