Not ready to go home
even though I already
feel so alone.
Pathetic and sad
my situation
really is quite "all bad".
Can't seem to find
my happy place...
I walk by a mirror,
tears well immediately
gazing at my face.
A lonely reflection
stares back at me
someone restless and
lost has come to be.
Not the sassy young chic
I remember, but 
some woman unfamiliar 
and somber to me. 
Someone passing,
cheerily says "Hello!",
and I return their smile
all be it ever so empty,
there is little warmth
behind it.
It doesn't appear
they notice or care
but I know -
and I'm scared.
Not comfortable in this skin
even though I've worn it
for awhile.
I think to myself,
"Just be happy!!" 
But how so, 
when I've lost my smile?