I’m upset that you left me 
Not my Mama
You left me and my siblings
It confuses me how you could walk away so easy
I was angry with the both of you but I took it out on her 
Because she was there
She worked hard and tried to replace the spark in my eye
To no avail
I created a shell which only has minor cracks caused by age
Not courage
Abandonment issues permeate my tissue
The scent picked up by sharks like blood in the ocean 
To some it smelled like love potion 
To others late night fights and constant commotion
See all things happen for a reason this is god’s plan 
So I am learning how to love a man 
Hell I struggle just being a friend
Caring and sharing is hard with a hardened heart
Damn it I mad that I miss my Dad
No that shit ain't past tense because it affects my presence
First it seemed my mom sent him away
Now he’s been devoured by the odds or the system
Whichever you prefer but the reality is a federal penitentiary
I unlocked the bars on my heart
I’ve grown enough to have the insight to battle my flesh
Feeling rejected, embracing suffering like a baby’s blanky
Is in my opinion like slapping God in the face
Dear Lord forgive my sins and find grace
I’m scared to live scared to go
Give me strength to teach my kids how to survive on this earth
To live good before they hit the dirt
Party dance and flirt
Floss all day every day put their frowns permanently away
Avoid the situation that got OJ
And puts most brothers in a place where they finally learn to pray
I inhale lime green sticky trees so my nerves can ease
The constant stress of worrying about this life and my babies
Which brings me back to the original equation when I started this
The answer eludes me and I’m filled with rage
How could my Daddy leave me?